Esquire Editor Condemns Celebs Silent on Trump

October 27th, 2016 7:20 PM

Esquire magazine's resident Chekist, Matt Miller, whose official job title is Associate Culture Editor, is now engaged in a culture war against celebrities whose high crime is that they haven't joined in the liberal hate fest against Donald Trump by openly denouncing him. Not only does he condemn them generally but Miller goes so far as to list their names along with their social media following.

It doesn't matter if these celebrities are silent even though they really support Hillary or they are just apolitical or if they secretly support Trump but don't want to alienate a portion of their fan base. To Miller it is an outright Thought Crime if they don't loudly become as openly psychotic over Trump as he is.

We now join Miller as he reveals just how over the top unhinged he is on not only hating Trump but even hating those who don't share his hangups on this matter:

A shockingly large number of Americans are prepared to make a reality TV star the ruler of the free world. Celebrities literally have the attention of millions of adoring fans at their fingertips, and it's hard to deny these people's influence. Yes, they've made a name for themselves doing, in most cases, everything other than politics, but so has Donald Trump!

...Any celebrity who has ever championed a cause, written, or wrote, or performed any work of any actual substance relating to life in this country has something at stake here. Maybe these artists are protecting their brand? F--- that! If their brand means to sacrifice the very values that make them human and a contributing member of this society, then they live a sad, hollow life. These are some of the highest paid and most influential celebrities on the planet who have yet to publicly and clearly declare allegiance to either candidate.

And now Miller produces his list of celebrities guilty of not outright condemning Trump:

Taylor Swift

Total social media followers: 156,147,879

Past affiliation? Unknown.


Sean "P. Diddy" Combs

Total social media followers: 16,265,085

Past affiliation? Initially supported Trump (!?) then backtracked and said he was undecided.

GASP! If you had supported Trump in the past you are forever...GUILTY!

Garth Brooks

Total social media followers: 2,281,992

That cowboy hat alone makes him...GUILTY!

Miranda Lambert

Total social media followers: 14,434,515

Past affiliation? Unknown.

Her associates should also be investigated before she is pronounced...GUILTY!

Ronda Rousey

Total social media followers: 14,308,9591

Past affiliation? Supported Sanders, and said she wouldn't vote for Hillary; current status unknown.

You can pronounce her GUILTY, Matt, but before you could finish that word, she would have you slammed down to the mat.

Kenny Chesney

Total social media followers: 9,051,699

Past affiliation? He says he doesn't like to talk politics, which he kinda didn't do in his new political manifesto.

I checked that manifest and he only sort of seems to not support Trump which means he is...GUILTY!

Cam Newton

Total social media followers: 2,892,859

Past affiliation? Unknown, he wouldn't talk about politics.


Danica Patrick

Total social media followers: 2,958,805

Past affiliation? Stays away from politics.

Anybody associated with NASCAR is obviously...GUILTY!

Bruno Mars

Total social media followers: 84,661,423

Past affiliation? Unknown.

Women are from Venus and Men are from Mars so...GUILTY!

Phil Mickelson

Total social media followers: 91,300

Past affiliation? Has donated to the Republican party.

Donated to the Republican party? That plus just being a professional golfer make him...GUILTY! GUILTY! GUILTY!

Carrie Underwood

Total social media followers: 17,366,107

Past affiliation? Probably Republican, but "I prefer to stay away from politics."

Even just a bare hint of being a Republican makes her...GUILTY!

Mark Wahlberg

Total social media followers: 20,601,245

Past affiliation? Doesn't like to talk politics, but has golfed with Trump.

Just breathing the same air as Trump makes you...GUILTY!

The Rock

Total social media followers: 67,447,579

Past affiliation? Leans Republican, but hasn't endorsed Trump. Might run for president.

GUILTY! But do you really want to tell The Rock that to his face?

The condemned celebrities must now gather together to await sentencing by Lord Torquemada Miller.