Totally Serious News Network CNN: Trump Offends Real Witches

In a demonstration of just how seriously they take their assertion that they’re not “fake news”, CNN network ended Thursday night’s Erin Burnett OutFront with a report about how Donald Trump’s use of the term “witch hunt” to slam the Special Counsel’s investigation offended real witches around the globe. The segment was complete with fill-in host Kate Bolduan declaring at the top of the segment, “Witches of the world have a problem with President Trump!”

Of course, the filer of this completely asinine report was CNN’s comedy (?) reporter Jeanne Moos, who has put out a series of ridiculous reports bashing Trump. “They don't fly on broomsticks. They tend not to be bewitched,” Moos joked as the report began. “Modern day witches are hard to categorize.”

Moos spoke with “The Oracle of Los Angeles” Amanda Yates Garcia, who described herself to CNN as “a practicing witch, that's how I make my living, yes.” According to Yates Garcia, “There’s a lot to be offended by by Donald Trump. And I think his use of the term ‘witch hunt’ is very low on the list of priorities for most witches, but nevertheless, it does demonstrate his ignorance as usual.”

What was President Trump “demonstrating his ignorance” of? Author of Witch Craft Activism and practicing Wiccan David Salisbury told CNN it was Trump’s ignorance of the persecution against witches over the centuries.

“Really disgraceful. I mean, thousands of people were executed in Europe on suspicion of witchcraft,” he huffed to Moos. The serious news outlet reporter then reminded views that “closer to home, there were the Salem witch trials. 19 supposed witches were hanged.”

 

 

“Witches tend to side with liberals. And you know what they wish President Trump would stop saying about the Mueller investigation,” she teed up the already tired out “witch hunt” joke.

Moos would go in to “joked” about how since Trump couldn’t say “witch hunt” anymore, then he would need to find a new term to throw around: “But if the President stopped saying witch hunt, he would have to hunt for a new term. Tweeted someone, ‘I guess he will have to start referring to it as a wild goose chase, but that might offend geese.’”

“If there's one demographic President Trump hasn't put a spell on, it's witches. They would rather put a spell on him,” she concluded.

Oddly absent from Moos’s eye-rolling report was a Vox story from 2017 boasting about how “[e]ach month, thousands of witches cast a spell against Donald Trump” as part of the “#MagicResistance”. You can’t make this stuff up.

Then there was the Newsweek article from a couple months ago with the enthusiastic headline: “Witches hex Brett Kavanaugh, hope to cause suffering to GOP, Donald Trump”. In the piece, the struggling magazine turned smear site touted how, “In the borough of Brooklyn in New York City, in a small room with chalkboard walls and dark floors, detractors of Supreme Court Justice Brett Kavanaugh gathered on Saturday to observe and perform a hex in the hope that it would cause him to suffer.”

But remember these are totally serious news outlets that are definitely not fake news. This is CNN.

[H/T Ryan Saavedra]

The transcript is below, click "expand" to read:

CNN’s Erin Burnett OutFront
December 27, 2018
7:58:00 p.m. Eastern

KATE BOLDUAN: Witches of the world have a problem with President Trump. Here's Jeanne Moos.

[Cuts to video]

JEANNE MOOS: They don't fly on broomsticks. They tend not to be bewitched. But Donald Trump --

DONALD TRUMP: You know I call it a witch hunt, and it is a witch hunt.

MOOS: Modern day witches are hard to categorize.

GLINDA THE GOOD WITCH: Are you a good witch or a bad witch.

MOOS: Are you a witch?

AMANDA YATES GARCIA: I’m a practicing witch, that's how I make my living, yes.

MOOS: Which kind of witch are you?

DAVID SALISBURY (Male Witch): I'm initiated into Wicca, which is the religious side of things.

MOOS: Witches tend to side with liberals. And you know what they wish President Trump would stop saying about the Mueller investigation?

(…)

MOOS: The author of Witch Craft Activism calls the President’s use of the term --

SALISBURY: Really disgraceful. I mean, thousands of people were executed in Europe on suspicion of witchcraft.

MOOS: Closer to home, there were the Salem witch trials. 19 supposed witches were hanged.

YATES GARCIA: There’s a lot to be offended by by Donald Trump. And I think his use of the term "witch hunt" is very low on the list of priorities for most witches, but nevertheless it does demonstrate his ignorance as usual.

(…)

MOOS: But if the President stopped saying witch hunt, he would have to hunt for a new term. Tweeted someone, “I guess he will have to start referring to it as a wild goose chase, but that might offend geese.” The last time witches got mixed in politics a losing Tea Party candidate for the Senate had to proclaim:

CHRISTINE O’DONNELL: I'm not a witch.

MOOS: After having said she dabbled in witchcraft in high school. If there's one demographic President Trump hasn't put a spell on, it's witches. They would rather put a spell on him.

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