Just like the networks’ morning news broadcasts today, late night host Stephen Colbert spent more energy freaking out about President Trump’s reaction to North Korea’s nuclear threat, than he did about the threat itself, on his Tuesday night show.
The comedian spent his opening monologue August 8 obsessing over how Trump supposedly provoked North Korean leader Kim Jong-un, with his warning to the unhinged dictator. Colbert held nothing back, declaring that “we’re all going to die” because of what Trump said:
“I know a lot of people tune into this show on a nightly basis to get their news and information. They count on me to be a straight shooter, okay, with a calm voice. I don’t want to be an alarmist---but we’re all going to die,” he stated, to audience applause and laughter.
After detailing how Kim Jong-un singled out the United States in response to the U.N.’s unanimous vote to place sanctions on North Korea, Colbert sarcastically praised Trump for “de-escalating” the situation.
COLBERT: Thankfully, faced with the greatest challenge of his presidency, Donald Trump stepped up, and in a moment of pure statesmanship, de-escalated the rhetoric and brought calm to our worried nation. (Laughter) I'm just kidding. He said this:
TRUMP: North Korea best not make any more threats to the United States. They will be met with fire and fury like the world has never seen. He has been very threatening, beyond a normal statement. And as I said, they will be met with fire, fury and, frankly, power, the likes of which this world has never seen before.
After playing that video clip, Colbert hid behind the camera before slowly peering up with a terrified expression. He pleaded:
Shut up! Just shhhh! Okay? You're going to get us all killed, and I just started The Handmaid's Tale. ( Laughter ) You know Kim Jong-un's crazy, right?
Left-wing website Slate’s take on the monologue was even worse than the segment itself. Slate’s Matthew Dessem gushingly described Colbert as a “Walter Cronkite” type, whose “calm, steady voice the nation turned to in times of crisis.” Which makes us wonder which show, exactly, is he watching:
As the North Korean crisis loomed on Wednesday night, Stephen Colbert took his place with Walter Cronkite, Edward R. Murrow, and Jon Stewart in the pantheon of calm, steady voices the nation has turned to in times of crisis. And he had a simple message for all Americans: “I don’t want to be alarmist, but we’re all gonna die.” It was a powerful, inspiring reminder that our heroes are dead, our enemies are in power, and we’ve given Donald Trump the ability to destroy all of human civilization with the touch of a button. Colbert also addressed the president directly, offering wise counsel to a man facing the toughest test of his leadership so far….
