GQ Tears Down 'Mitt 'Tin Man' Romney,' Mormonism

July 25th, 2012 3:08 PM

If there has ever been any suspicion about which way GQ magazine leans, a new article by Wells Tower puts that to rest. By publishing "Desperately Seeking Mitt," a tear-down piece about the presumptive Republican nominee, the magazine proves that it is solidly Team Obama. Tower, who was assigned to cover Romney on the campaign trail for five months, made his intentions clear: to "follow Governor Mitt "Tin Man" Romney to search for signs of genuine life" and "to spy out those remnants of the candidate's humanity not yet blown to smithereens in the psyops war between the campaign and the press."

Apparently, he was unimpressed with his welcome, and soon concluded that "trying to penetrate the veneer of the Romney brand is like trying to split a billiard ball with a butter knife." In fact, Tower's cynical view of Romney permeates the entire eight-page article. While there are literally dozens of jabs throughout the piece, there are a few glaring instances of bias that cannot be ignored. One particular example is a scathing criticism of Mormonism, saying that its founder Joseph Smith, "despite having some forty wives, still endeavored to f*** everything in sight." 

In a different part of the article, Tower feigns shock at the sight of Romney thanking supporters for attending a rally in the rain and, heaven forbid, sweating. He then tears down Romney's stump speech as a collection of "flavorless nubs" he summarizes it as "blork blah blargh."

Tower also takes a shot at Romney's infamous rendition of "America the Beautiful," which has been used in numerous attack ads by the Obama campaign.

Rather then assessing the candidate on his vocal stylings, he compares him to an "eighth-grader, assigned to write a presidential stump speech" who "turned in cribbed lines from "America the Beautiful," and  "would probably be given a C."

If attacking Romney's religion, character, appearance and every other aspect of his humanity wasn't enough, he even goes so far as to go after his wife. Rather than highlighting Mrs. Romney's experiences with MS, her long marriage to Mitt, or the five successful sons that she raised, Tower focuses on her looks. "Have you seen old pictures of Ann?" he asks. "She was the absolute stonest of foxes. Dude, young Ann, with a blue racer...draped about her neck. Yowza."

Yet somehow, Tower is still not done, and proceeds to highlight some of the gaffes that Rodney's statement that he's friends with NASCAR owners saying that it is, "a perfectly simple and juicy plot point in our tale about the man who would be president if he could only shut up about his enormous wealth."

In short, Wells Tower's lengthy hatchet job directed at Mitt Romney is a perfect example of how far the liberal media will go to tear down Obama's opposition.