Sad, Bizarre Attempt at Humor Reveals Stephanie Miller as Seriously Unfunny

March 31st, 2011 2:21 PM

Never heard of liberal radio host Stephanie Miller? You're about to hear a reason why.

Here's an example of Miller sharing with her listeners earlier this week what she considers humorous. Before playing this, you may want to clear any children -- and pets -- out of earshot.

Audio clip after page break

MILLER: Chris!

MILLER SHOW PRODUCER CHRIS LAVOIE: What?

MILLER: I then went to Charlotte, N.C., where as you know my 88-year-old Republican mother and my Republican brother, who hung me when I was a child, live.

 

LAVOIE: Yes.

MILLER: And I think it's important to mention at this point that my mom's bird masturbates to Fox News.

LAVOIE: Yup, um, um ...

MILLER: Now, in all fairness, I had been warned about this because if anything can be compared to your 88-year-old Republican mother who raised you Catholic explaining to you how her bird masturbates, I don't know what's more disturbing. In my personal opinion, she sort of did what he does with his arms, except she had trouble with the word. She's like, oh Stephy, what's the word, masturbate. I was like, oh, I know, wow.

LAVOIE: Yeah, Republicans.

MILLER: This is going to be years of therapy now. And as I previously said, my mom at her age, she sits very close, if she were any closer to Glenn Beck she would be, it would be poltergeist. She would be in the TV spooning with Glenn Beck. So, uh, the Fox News on all the time and the bird, love bird, it's a love bird named Pretty Boy and 'cause, you know what, many people have asked me, how, how does a bird masturbate? 'Cause, you know, no hands, no opposable thumbs. Well, let me explain. He has a colorful chain, a colorful sort of rubber, you know, they have lots of sort of colorful bird toys in there. And so he has a chain that he sits on, it's like a rubber chain. It's a perch, you know, it's like a perch ...

LAVOIE: Yes, that's a chain.

MILLER: Oh, it's also a chain that he regurgitates his food on and eats it again. By the way, the cage right next to the dinner table. So that's already, uh huh. And so anyway, what happens is he sort of gets going on the chain, he kind of just sort of, here I'm doing it, if you're watching Ustream you see he kind of does this, he rocks into the thing with his, you know, he pushes his little (beep), you know, into the chain. It's not a chain, it's a rubber thing, whatever, anyway, he starts, he just starts and then he does this thing, now you'll have to be on Ustream to see. He kinda raises his little, what are they, wings?, above his head and goes (breathes heavily) and then kinda lays on the chain exhausted, uh, to Fox News.

Brian Maloney at The Radio Equalizer justifiably asks, "Is This Libtalk's Most Pathetic Moment?"

Miller's father is the late William E. Miller, Barry Goldwater's running mate in 1964 who also served as chairman of the National Republican Committee. Suffice it to say, the surviving elder Miller must be so proud.