Colbert Demands Voters Join France And 'Defeat Fascism'

July 10th, 2024 10:00 AM

After freaking out on Monday over President Joe Biden’s debate performance, CBS’s Stephen Colbert was more optimistic on Tuesday’s edition of The Late Show. Colbert urged viewers to look across the pond to France because “if the French can unite to defeat fascisms, Americans can do it, too.” It was not only a vicious attack on Republicans, it was a wild distortion of what happened in France’s recent election.

Colbert began, “Now, if you’re feeling down about this election, don’t despair, there's hope from one of America's oldest allies, France. Because, two weeks ago, France's ultra-right-wing xenophobic party, the National Rally, seemed poised to take over their parliament. But this weekend, in a huge voter turnout, the French people rejected the far-right.”



Two things need to be said about that. First, there's more to the National Rally than immigration. “The far-right” wanted to spend like the drunken socialists that ended up winning and leader Marine Le Pen recently flip-flopped her position on abortion and is now in favor of it. 



Second, the French center partnered with the left in order to deny Le Pen a victory. The American left has criticized Le Pen for being pro-Russian, but the far-left French leader, Jean-Luc Melenchon, has defended Vladimir Putin’s annexation of Crimea, repeated Russian lies about Ukraine being run by neo-Nazis, and called for France to exit NATO. He’s also an anti-Semitic loon bag, declaring Jews to be “an arrogant minority that lectures to the rest.” Melenchon is also a big fan of Fidel Castro and Hugo Chavez. Finally, he threatened to quit the E.U. if he were to win the presidency because it isn't socialist enough.

Clearly, extremism won in France, just the left-wing variety. Nevertheless, the ignorant Colbert continued, portraying Republicans as the fascists, “So, don't worry about who's at the top of the Democratic ticket. If the French can unite to defeat fascisms, Americans can do it, too. Just like more than two centuries ago, we both had revolutions to throw off monarchies. Theirs was inspiring, but ours was better, because in ours, Jefferson and Hamilton rapped.”

Also, because Jefferson wrote the Declaration of Independence and Hamilton stormed enemy redoubts with the help of the French king’s army. The French Revolution, meanwhile, went on a beheading spree and tried to reinvent the calendar because the normal one is just too religious.

Here is a transcript for the July 9 show:

CBS The Late Show with Stephen Colbert


11:45 PM ET

STEPHEN COLBERT: Now, if you’re feeling down about this election, don’t despair, there's hope from one of America's oldest allies, France. Because, two weeks ago, France's ultra right-wing xenophobic party, the National Rally, seemed poised to take over their parliament. But this weekend, in a huge voter turnout, the French people rejected the far-right. Mais oui! Mais oui, monsieur! Vive la France! Vive la France! Liberté! Egalité! Cheese soufflé! 

Not only did the National Rally not win, National Rally ended up in the third spot. And you never, you never want to end up in the third spot of a French three-way. By the time you get in there, no one's got the energy to butter your baguette.

And I don't know what that means. So, don't worry about who's at the top of the Democratic ticket. If the French can unite to defeat fascisms, Americans can do it, too. Just like more than two centuries ago, we both had revolutions to throw off monarchies. Theirs was inspiring, but ours was better, because in ours, Jefferson and Hamilton rapped.