Some lines spoken between the great lovers of stage and screen are immortal. “It is the East, and Juliet is the sun.” “We’ll always have Paris.” “Donald Trump is an enormous douche.” 
Yes, the white-hot affair between two arrogant and deeply unlikeable bureaucrats explodes across the screen in FBI Lovebirds. (video at bottom) It’s “a verbatim recreation with actors of politically explosive and racy texts sent on work phones by Lisa Page and Peter Strzok two senior FBI investigators in lead positions in the Hillary Clinton and President Trump investigations,” according to a press release from filmmaker Phelim McAleer.
Lovebirds is the latest of the Verbatim series of plays and films “pioneered by McAleer and his wife Ann McElhinney who specialize in creating content based completely on transcripts – very often court proceedings or hearings.”
And there’s a lot of content here dealing with the Clinton email scandal and the couple’s response to Trump’s possible election (which stirred “Deep State” fears).
But let’s leave aside the legal and ethical quandaries these two FBI employees wandered into and get a flavor for their relationship and opinions as shared on their taxpayer-provided phones -- complete with emojis. (It’s best if you hum the love theme from Romeo and Juliet while you read.)
PS “I do not like your absence as a result of your so-called work.”
LP“Maybe I should ask to be reassigned [winky face]
PS Boo. Stopped by your office, no Lisa [frowny face]
On the failure of Virginia Voters to elect Jill McCabe (D) the wife of FBI Deputy Director Andrew McCabe:
LP “I’m really so disappointed. What is wrong with people?”
PS “I saw. Disappointing, but look at the district map. Loudon County is being gentrified, but it’s still largely ignorant hillbillies.”
On a watching a Democratic primary debate:
PS “And Martin O’Malley’s a douche. Foregone conclusion, but so much more substantive than the Republican debate.”
On one of the three branches of constitutionally ordained government (the one, incidentally, with oversight responsibility of the FBI):
LP “God I hate Congress. So utterly worthless.”
PS “Less than worthless, contemptible.”
On Trump voters:
PS “Just went to a Southern Virginian Walmart. I could smell the Trump support.”
LP “Yep”
PS “Yeah, it’s scary.”
On the man himself:
PS “Trump is a fucking idiot … what the fuck happened to our country, Lisa?”
LP “And Trump can go F himself.”
PS “F Trump.”
On watching Hillary debate Trump:
PS “[sigh] I’m sorry. She could do so much better, but she’s just not getting any traction.”
“I’m so damned mad, Lisa. And disgusted. And disappointed.”
On the debate moderator:
PS “Chris Wallace is a turd.”
Tell me these two aren’t destined to join the ranks of history’s great couples: Antony and Cleopatra, Napoleon and Josephine, Abbott and Costello.
