Michelle Malkin

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Syndicated Columnist


Syndicated columnist and best-selling author.

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“I also have a dream.” This rallying cry, handwritten on a simple white placard held up by an Asian-American mom at a protest this week against liberal New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio's plan to radically transform New York City's public schools, says it all. A new civil rights struggle in education has exploded — yet the national media and the usual celebrity voices for equality and justice are nowhere to be found.



Quick, grab the smelling salts and clear the fainting couches. President Trump's pardon of conservative author Dinesh D'Souza last week violently triggered Beltway media elites. It's peanut butter, weed pollen, gluten, manspreading, Chick-fil-A, the national anthem, and Kryptonite all rolled into one giant political allergen. Allow me to administer the rhetorical, metaphorical antihistamine.



Incontrovertible fact: People lie. They fudge little things, like their height or weight. They exaggerate their athletic prowess or professional accomplishments. They deceive family, friends, lovers, voters, government officials, business partners and themselves. They lie about murder, theft, kidnapping, rape and discrimination. They lie for attention, deflection, power and profit.



Educrat (ED-yoo-krat) noun, usually pejorative. A government school official or administrator whose primary function is to spend tax dollars telling other parents what to do with their children. Beltway education bureaucrats abhor families who choose to keep their kids out of public schools -- unless it's to grandstand over gun control. Behold Arne Duncan, longtime pal of Barack Obama and former U.S. Department of Education secretary, who called last weekend for parents nationwide to withdraw students from classes "until gun laws (are) changed to keep them safe."



Need more evidence that there are two Americas? Here: Left-wing hatred of Melania Trump is inversely proportional to flyover admiration for the first lady. In just the last month, late-night clown Jimmy Kimmel mocked Trump's Slovenian accent, CNN contributor April Ryan attacked her as "not culturally American," former Hillary Clinton spokesman Philippe Reines derided her genteel presence at former first lady Barbara Bush's funeral, and horror writer Stephen King snickered at her hospitalization this week for kidney surgery.



The impossibly fickle, selective and whimsical rules of cultural appropriation are hard to keep straight. (Oops! I said "straight." Apologies to whomever. Oops, can I say "whomever?" Zimever? Verselves? Gah.) According to the white people who run the left-wing Southern Poverty Law Center, eating tacos, drinking tequila and wearing sombreros on Cinco de Mayo "are textbook examples of cultural appropriation." 



Here is a short list of prominent conservatives and independent thinkers who've been accused by their critics of being an "Uncle Tom" or some other vitriolic variation on the overplayed left-wing theme of being a traitor to their race or gender ("Aunt Tomasina," "Uncle Juan," "Aunt Jemima," "Uncle Wong," etc.)[.]



When British hospital officials tried to pull the plug on 23-month-old toddler Alfie Evans on Monday night in arrogant defiance of his parents' wishes, many Americans took to Twitter to count their blessings that they live in a country that would not allow such tyranny. "Stories like Alfie Evans make me realize how grateful I am to live in America where freedom still exists," one young social media user wrote.



Move over, Trump Derangement Syndrome. Another unhinged liberal pathology is back: Chick-fil-A-phobia. Perhaps, in the interest of public health, the CDC should launch a weekly C-F-A-P surveillance report to map the recurrence of this culturally infectious disease. Early-onset symptoms include fear of pressure-cooked poultry, allergic reaction to waffle potato fries and an irrational hatred of cow costumes.



While congresscritters expressed outrage at Facebook's intrusive data grabs during Capitol Hill hearings with Mark Zuckerberg this week, not a peep was heard about the Silicon Valley-Beltway theft ring purloining the personal information and browsing habits of millions of American schoolchildren.



Open borders tour guides in Mexico illegally shepherding 1,500 Central Americans to the United States border declared victory this week. Mexican officials reportedly are offering humanitarian visas to avert a showdown. But the parade of immigration lawlessness marches on -- with reckless aiding and abetting by churches across the U.S.



How sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a despotic pediatric dentist. Parents who decide, for whatever reason, that they don't like their children's oral care provider should be forewarned. Empowered by government "mandatory reporter" laws, dental offices are now using their authority to threaten families with child abuse charges if they don't comply with the cavity police.



A sickening act of youth violence in Florida glinted across the news headlines last week, and then disappeared from view. There will be no CNN town halls or student walkouts over the lost life and preventable tragedy, because there are no guns to blame. Only dropped balls. As the exploiters of crisis know full well, bureaucratic screw-ups don't make good fodder for partisan fundraisers and hipster T-shirts.



Here is my homework assignment for all the fist-clenching, gun control-demanding teenagers walking out of classrooms this week (and next week and next month) to protest school shootings: Ask not what the rest of the country can do for your local school's safety; ask what your local school boards and superintendents have been failing to do for you. Chances are, the adults closest to you -- those most directly responsible for your security -- have been shirking their primary duties, squandering scarce resources and deflecting blame.



In Florida, the Broward County Sheriff's office and Broward County school district are fighting to keep exterior surveillance video from the day of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School hidden from view. As journalists and citizens who've waged uphill battles against secrecy well know, government agencies too often invoke broad disclosure exemptions in the name of protecting public safety when they're really just trying to protect their own jobs.



Where are all the grown-ups in times of crisis and grief? Don't bother searching America's prestigious law schools. Two adult men, occupying lofty perches as law professors, argued this week that the voting age in the U.S. should be lowered to 16 because some high school survivors of the Parkland, Florida, shooting who want gun control "are proving how important it is to include young people's voices in political debate."



As the Oklahoma attorney general's office fights to keep hidden from public view the results of secret hearings on the DNA science flaws and falsehoods in former Oklahoma City police officer Daniel Holtzclaw's case, two prominent experts have stepped forward to shed bright light on the government's myriad mind-boggling failures.



Old liberal media liars never fade away. They just rage, rage against the dying of their dinosaur industry's light. I'm looking at you, Dan Rather. The 86-year-old grandfather of fake news now dismisses the Nunes memo. "Most respectable analysts," Rather asserted, "have determined that the contents of the memo are thin." Analysts who agree with him. 



Xinran Ji, 24, had big dreams. But demons demolished them. The bright hopes of young Xinran Ji, a University of Southern California engineering student from Inner Mongolia, died in 2014 at the hands of a then-19-year-old "Dreamer" and his thug pals. Mexican illegal alien Jonathan DelCarmen, who first jumped the southern border at age 12, pleaded guilty to second-degree murder last summer in the savage robbery and fatal beating of Ji -- who was walking home from a study group after midnight.



It's elementary. Education control freaks will use any excuse to crack down on competition. With two million K-12 students now educated at home (including our 9th grade son), the temptation to exploit the most marginal cases of alleged child abuse by home-schoolers has proven irresistible to statist politicians and government apologists.