In honor of Janeane Garofalo, who unforgettably declared George W. Bush "unelectable" on the night of his second Inauguration, there is Michael Moore, reproduced Friday by The Huffington Post. In that website's finest tradition of celebrity idiocy, Moore glanced at the current political climate and proclaimed:
These Republicans mean business. Their boots are all shined and ready. But they've got one huge problem:
The majority of Americans don't agree with them.
How will leftists claim the majority disagrees with the Republicans if they make dramatic gains on Tuesday? Michael Moore will have to try and find a new theme then. But this piece was titled "A Boot to the Head" in honor of MoveOn.org activist Lauren Valle, who was brutalized after shoving a poster in Rand Paul's face in Kentucky. Unsurprisingly, Moore transfers that violence into a meta-narrative of conservatives stomping on the heads of everyone they fear or hate:
The young woman's name is Lauren Valle, but she is really all of us. For come this Tuesday, the right wing -- and the wealthy who back them -- plan to take their collective boot and bring it down hard on not just the head of Barack Obama but on the heads of everyone they simply don't like.
Teachers union? The boot!
Muslim-looking people? The boot!
Thinking of retiring soon? The boot!
Living in a house you can no longer afford? The boot!
Doing a bit better with your minimum wage? The boot!
Stem cell research, the bullet train, reversing global warming? Ha! The boot for all of you!
What? You like your kids being covered by your health plan 'til they're 26? The boot for them and the boot for you!
In love with someone of your own gender? A double boot up the ass for every single one of you sick SOBs!
Hoping there's a few jobs left here in the U.S. when you graduate? How 'bout just a nice boot to your head instead?
And most importantly, the last boot is saved for the black man who probably wasn't born here, definitely isn't a Christian and possibly might be the Antichrist sent here to oversee the destruction of our very way of life. A boot to your head, Obama-devil!
Yes, one big boot is poised to stomp out whatever hopey-changey thing we might have had two years ago and secure this country in the hands of the oligarchs and the culture police.
But Moore is not always playing the Meanie. In Florida, where he was fawned over last weekend at a Q&A titled "Michael Moore Speaks! An Evening With America's Conscience." Miami New Times reproduced these remarks:
On seeing Obama's name on the ballot: When I stepped into the booth, I started crying.
Imagine that! They also reported:
Before speaking to a sold-out crowd on Saturday, a surprisingly soft-spoken Moore held a press conference to talk about his man crush on Jon Stewart, his disappointment in Obama, and "the stone cold idiots that we call our fellow Americans."
So much for that "the majority wisely agrees with us" rhetoric. It's no wonder this man is a Bill Maher favorite.
