HORRORS! Government Shutdown Means No Whale Counters or Animal-Semen Exporters

October 3rd, 2013 4:30 PM

“Animal-semen exporters were furloughed” sounds like a bad joke, but to left-wing publication Mother Jones it’s a problem caused by the government shutdown. Right up there with 50 Nubian goats in New Jersey being furloughed. And don’t forget about the Whale Counters!

The Oct. 2 article listed “30 Ways the Shutdown Is Already Screwing People.” Most of the items on this list wee the same talking points that the left has brought up time and again, but some were actually quite strange. The list included:

Whales: The Marine Mammal Commission, which monitors whale populations, is on hiatus.

Animal-semen exporters: The New Orleans Times-Picayune reports, ‘No one in Louisiana will be able export livestock, embryos, fertilized animal eggs or animal semen.’ Animal semen? Yup, the USDA monitors that too.

Goats: 50 Nubian goats, tasked with eating poison ivy at a New Jersey historical site, were furloughed.

Oh, and this one:

Klansmen: A planned march in Gettysburg by the Confederate Knights of the KKK was canceled because the national battlefield park is closed.”

Let’s all hope and pray that those goats don’t go hungry before the government starts up again. In the meantime, we should organize volunteers to go count the whales.