Six Ways Jack Bauer Will Fight Global Warming

August 7th, 2007 1:48 PM

Jim Treacher at has an excellent slam of how loopy and left-wing Fox's "24" is becoming with its carbon-neutral push for Season 7.

Six Ways Jack Bauer Will Fight Global Warming:

  1. Travel from one end of LA to another in 15 minutes on a bicycle.
  2. Replace power-sucking PDA with pad of Post-Its and No. 2 pencil. ("Chloe, send it to my sticky note.")
  3. Yelling releases excess carbon dioxide into the atmosphere. Interrogations will be conducted via sign language and harsh glaring.
  4. After torturing terrorist with plugged-in lamp cord, buy carbon offsets to make up for wasted electricity.
  5. All explosions will be rendered South Park-style with red, yellow, and orange construction paper (recycled).
  6. Cancel the show because it sucks now anyway.
(I'm doing my part by recycling this post!)

My working theory is that the show's creators have been cowed into making penance to the Left for hanging out with conservative radio host Rush Limbaugh. Thoughts?

Photo via