Simpson and Bowles Are Wealthy, Old and White - And That Makes Ed Schultz Really Mad

February 21st, 2013 4:05 PM

Hey, did you know that Ed Schultz used to work as a TV meteorologist? They finally let him go after one too many references to racist cloud patterns.

Yes, I'm kidding, but it's not hard to envision this actually happening. When it comes to gratuitous references to race, Schultz is unrivaled -- except for all those other liberals inclined to do likewise. (audio clips after page break)

Here's Schultz on his radio show Tuesday disgorging a venomous rant about Alan Simpson and Erskine Bowles, of the Simpson-Bowles deficit reduction commission, for daring to suggest a retooled version of the proposal they released in 2010 (audio) --

You know, if you're totally secure financially, you see the world a little bit differently. If you have a job or if you have two jobs or if you make good money, you feel a little better in life about what your next day is going to be like. Simpson-Bowles is a fraud! These are two secure wealthy white guys telling middle classers how they have to bite the bullet and, oh by the way, we're the problem that the budget isn't worth a damn! We're the problem that we're in the craphole financially! And oh we gotta (Schultz grunts weirdly) , we gotta bite the bullet a little bit more! We have a, middle classers, we haven't done enough, c'mon! So, my question to Alan Simpson, the conservative from Wyoming who I'm not trusting whatsoever -- Mr. Simpson, what are you willing to give up? You're asking Americans to bite the bullet. What are you willing to give? Are you willing to give up some of that Senate pension? You willing to give up some of that Senate health care?! What are you willing to give up there, Mr. Simpson?! Don't you look down your ugly old nose at me and tell me what middle classers have gotta do! (Schultz pronouncing "do" as "doe"), because you see, the middle classers won the last election. And the last thing we need to do is listen to some old crusty old white farts out there telling us how wealthy and secure they are and about how we have to give it up! No, they gotta gi'd it up! They're the ones that gotta give it up! (voice breaking from strain of derangement).  

More along the same lines several minutes later (audio) --

An old crusty white guy from the Senate who has guaranteed pension, guaranteed health care and will take no cuts is telling middle classers how you gotta bite the bullet. Now are you OK with that? I'm not. I'm not. I don't think he's qualified, at all. At all.

What with that unfortunate skin hue and all. Plus the fact that Simpson is so very old, which rest assured will never happen to the perennially youthful and vibrant Schultz. What is it about the elderly, one wonders, that sets Schultz's teeth on edge? I've been around long enough to remember a time when liberal Democrats like Schultz -- Hubert Humphrey comes to mind -- actually liked and respected seniors, or at least could hide their indifference.

Imagine the howls of outrage from the left and the effigies they'd burn through the night if Rush Limbaugh deigned to dismiss liberal congressmen John Lewis and Jim Clyburn, both hardened veterans of the civil rights era, as "crusty old black farts." Leading the charge would be Schultz himself, an allegedly struggling "middle classer" who works two high-profile jobs in media and flies in his private plane between residences in New York City and Minnesota and his fishing lodge in Canada.