Director Bong Joon Ho delivered a distinctly original film earlier this year amidst a crush of remakes, reboots and reimaginings.
How did audiences thank the Oscar-winner? They avoided his sci-fi comedy “Mickey 17” at all costs. Fresh ideas are always welcome, but crowds sniffed out this stinker from a mile away.
Now, “Mickey 17” is streaming on Max, giving those who skipped it in theaters the chance to give it a try. Don’t bother.
A game Robert Pattinson stars as Mickey Barnes, a lost soul who signs up for a gig with a shady corporation. He agrees to be a human lab rat, submitting himself to deadly experiments while scientists dutifully note his body’s reactions.
Remember, kids, always read the fine print.
Mickey dies again, and again, while the corporation “prints” a new Mickey to replace the old one. His memories and life experiences have been captured on a digital brick, allowing scientists to insert his personality into each printed body.
Mickey 1 sounds like Mickey 2, 3 and 4. You get the idea.
What happens when a presumably doomed Mickey clone, call him Mickey 17, doesn’t die as planned?
It’s a wonderful sci-fi premise, making us consider mortality, the limits of the human soul and more. If life is so easily taken away, what does that say about the human condition? What about the people who so casually snuff it out?
A smart storyteller could run with this theme in many sly directions. “Mickey 17,” based on Edward Ashton’s 2022 novel “Mickey7,” chooses the very worst option.
He really should have read the “terms and conditions.” #Mickey17 – only in theaters January 31, 2025. pic.twitter.com/l65qYsO7zM
— Mickey 17 (@Mickey17Movie) October 9, 2024
We’re introduced to a Trumpian villain played by an over-the-top Mark Ruffalo. Note to the erstwhile Hulk – leave the “over-the-top” gigs to Jim Carrey and Nicolas Cage. They don’t suit you.
Ruffalo’s Kenneth Marshall is a failed politician who runs the corporation with his supportive partner (Toni Collette). They have a legion of red-hatted fans and dream of a genetically pure human colony.
Subtle.
Poor Mickey deserves our sympathy, but he inexplicably attracts a lover in Nasha (Naomi Ackie in pure GirlBossTM mode). Her character makes no sense, but she’s in fine company.
The story stumbles after the first, mesmerizing half hour, and it never comes close to recovering. Bong’s sense of comic chaos doesn’t yield a single laugh from this point on, and his screenplay takes a weird, hard R-rated turn.
Characters curse like vintage Andrew “Dice” Clay at Madison Square Garden. That not only suffocates the film’s satirical spirit but gives this futuristic yarn a decidedly 2025 feel.
Terrible idea.
At one point, Nasha screams obscenities at the one-dimensional Marshall. It’s the cinematic equivalent of that Hillary Clinton supporter raging over Donald Trump’s 2016 victory.
“Mickey 17” literally stalls mid-film, unsure what to do next. Enter a race of worm-like creatures on the planet Marshall hopes to populate. They’re CGI marvels, no doubt, but the film treats them like the indigenous population in “Avatar.”
They must be protected at all costs, and Marshall’s goons quickly label them as the “enemy.” Maybe “Mickey 17” isn’t as original as we thought.
It helps that the Na’vi have human form in the “Avatar” franchise. These creepy critters aren’t even as cute as the main character in Bong’s other sci-fi dud, “Okja.”
The film’s many attempts at social commentary fail, and the corporate swipes are similarly stale. The “Alien” franchise did it far better a generation ago.
Set ideology aside. “Mickey 17” is desperate, dull and chaotic to the core. Pattinson’s performance deserves praise, but he’s adrift in a swirl of screeching characters and flop-sweat plot twists.
We’ll take “Fast & Furious” Part XXI over this fresh drivel any day.
