Yeah! OH YEAHHH!!!! It's over. It's ALL OVER for Scott Walker!!! Watch our Rolling Stone victory dance in the end zone as we spike the football and proclaim an end to Walker's political career. Why? Because of the SLAM DUNK of the century which Scott Walker cannot survive!
So what happened? Did Walker perform a gross breach of ethics as bad as the publication of "A Rape on Campus?" Nope. Even worse. AFL-CIO president Richard Trumka wrote the six word slam dunk that will definitely ruin Scott Walker forever and ever and ever. When you read the "slam dunk" on Walker you will probably rub your eyes in disbelief that what you just read led to all this jubilation at the Rolling Stone but first let us savor some of the juvenile flavor provided by the writer, Simon Vozick-Levinson, who comes off with all the gravity of a giggling schoolboy scribbling riffs at a junior high school cafeteria lunch table:
For some reason, the Republican zealot is hell-bent on conducting a doomed campaign for president in 2016, a painfully obvious fact which he "revealed" Monday morning after months of tedious teasing, including one recent public appearance in which he bizarrely compared peaceful pro-worker activists in his home state to ISIS terrorists. (Rolling Stone's Matt Taibbi accurately described the main theme of Walker's recent stump speeches as "I was a dick in Wisconsin, and I can be one in Washington, too!")
And Taibbi also sounds like he was sitting at the same junior high school cafeteria lunch table scribbling sweet sillinesses along with Vozick-Levinson. Now a few more juvenile riffs before the final "slam dunk" that will destroy Walker...according to the Rolling Stone gigglers:
To be clear, Walker has basically zero chance at winning the White House. His charisma level hovers somewhere beneath a block of Wisconsin cheese – frankly, even comparing the man to a piece of cheese is a little insulting to his home state's lauded dairy farms. All evidence suggests that he would be really, really bad at selling his really, really bad ideas to the American public in a general election. But now that he's officially in the race, AFL-CIO President Richard Trumka has issued one of the best press releases in political history in response to Walker's announcement.
A drum roll please as Trumka delivers his really really bad "slam dunk" that will shame Walker out of the public eye for all eternity:
Writing on behalf of the union federation's 12 million-plus members, Trumka declared:
"Scott Walker is a national disgrace."
Yes, you read it right. That was it from Trumka which caused the Rolling Stone to go overboard with their victory dance over...nothing.
Finally Vozick-Levinson pronounces his fantasy obituary on Walker based on this nothingness:
That's it. That's the whole statement. And yeah, that about sums it up. Hi, Scott. Bye, Scott.
And bye to silly Simon at the school cafeteria lunch table as he scribbles away at childish fantasies.