Michelle Malkin

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Syndicated Columnist


Syndicated columnist and best-selling author.

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Move over, Trump Derangement Syndrome. Another unhinged liberal pathology is back: Chick-fil-A-phobia. Perhaps, in the interest of public health, the CDC should launch a weekly C-F-A-P surveillance report to map the recurrence of this culturally infectious disease. Early-onset symptoms include fear of pressure-cooked poultry, allergic reaction to waffle potato fries and an irrational hatred of cow costumes.



While congresscritters expressed outrage at Facebook's intrusive data grabs during Capitol Hill hearings with Mark Zuckerberg this week, not a peep was heard about the Silicon Valley-Beltway theft ring purloining the personal information and browsing habits of millions of American schoolchildren.



Open borders tour guides in Mexico illegally shepherding 1,500 Central Americans to the United States border declared victory this week. Mexican officials reportedly are offering humanitarian visas to avert a showdown. But the parade of immigration lawlessness marches on -- with reckless aiding and abetting by churches across the U.S.



How sharper than a serpent's tooth to have a despotic pediatric dentist. Parents who decide, for whatever reason, that they don't like their children's oral care provider should be forewarned. Empowered by government "mandatory reporter" laws, dental offices are now using their authority to threaten families with child abuse charges if they don't comply with the cavity police.



A sickening act of youth violence in Florida glinted across the news headlines last week, and then disappeared from view. There will be no CNN town halls or student walkouts over the lost life and preventable tragedy, because there are no guns to blame. Only dropped balls. As the exploiters of crisis know full well, bureaucratic screw-ups don't make good fodder for partisan fundraisers and hipster T-shirts.



Here is my homework assignment for all the fist-clenching, gun control-demanding teenagers walking out of classrooms this week (and next week and next month) to protest school shootings: Ask not what the rest of the country can do for your local school's safety; ask what your local school boards and superintendents have been failing to do for you. Chances are, the adults closest to you -- those most directly responsible for your security -- have been shirking their primary duties, squandering scarce resources and deflecting blame.



In Florida, the Broward County Sheriff's office and Broward County school district are fighting to keep exterior surveillance video from the day of the mass shooting at Marjory Stoneman Douglas High School hidden from view. As journalists and citizens who've waged uphill battles against secrecy well know, government agencies too often invoke broad disclosure exemptions in the name of protecting public safety when they're really just trying to protect their own jobs.



Where are all the grown-ups in times of crisis and grief? Don't bother searching America's prestigious law schools. Two adult men, occupying lofty perches as law professors, argued this week that the voting age in the U.S. should be lowered to 16 because some high school survivors of the Parkland, Florida, shooting who want gun control "are proving how important it is to include young people's voices in political debate."



As the Oklahoma attorney general's office fights to keep hidden from public view the results of secret hearings on the DNA science flaws and falsehoods in former Oklahoma City police officer Daniel Holtzclaw's case, two prominent experts have stepped forward to shed bright light on the government's myriad mind-boggling failures.



Old liberal media liars never fade away. They just rage, rage against the dying of their dinosaur industry's light. I'm looking at you, Dan Rather. The 86-year-old grandfather of fake news now dismisses the Nunes memo. "Most respectable analysts," Rather asserted, "have determined that the contents of the memo are thin." Analysts who agree with him. 



Xinran Ji, 24, had big dreams. But demons demolished them. The bright hopes of young Xinran Ji, a University of Southern California engineering student from Inner Mongolia, died in 2014 at the hands of a then-19-year-old "Dreamer" and his thug pals. Mexican illegal alien Jonathan DelCarmen, who first jumped the southern border at age 12, pleaded guilty to second-degree murder last summer in the savage robbery and fatal beating of Ji -- who was walking home from a study group after midnight.



It's elementary. Education control freaks will use any excuse to crack down on competition. With two million K-12 students now educated at home (including our 9th grade son), the temptation to exploit the most marginal cases of alleged child abuse by home-schoolers has proven irresistible to statist politicians and government apologists.



Se acabo el tiempo. Seventeen years after granting "temporary protected status" to nearly 200,000 Salvadoran citizens who had fled earthquakes in 2001 or who were already here illegally and claimed they were unable to return to their homeland because of civil strife, America is setting a deadline: Get right with the law or go home. 



There are talkers and doers, sowers of dissatisfaction seeds and agents of lasting change. Much of my column work over the year is dedicated to exposing the worst crapweasels in politics, pop culture, media and the policy arena. But to ring out 2017, I'm raising a toast to some of my favorite bulldogs -- vigilant citizens, independent journalists and bloggers, and dedicated activists who work tirelessly to protect life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness.



At the close of 2017, no less than seven prominent male hosts and editors of influential government-sponsored radio and television shows are out of work amid claims of sexual harassment. According to their accusers, the alleged Malevolent Seven are powerful pervs and creeps who've been running wild at NPR and PBS for decades, sponsored and subsidized by taxpayers and corporate donors.



Capitol Hill's national security priorities are screwier than a Six Flags roller coaster. Instead of immediately shutting down one of America's stupidest visa programs, which helped bring us yet another murder-minded jihadist this week, bipartisan Beltway politicians are pushing to preserve and expand the illegal immigration pipeline. Republicans and Democrats in Congress want a "fix" for the Obama administration's executive amnesty covering nearly 700,000 illegal immigrants -- and they want it pronto.



A criminal justice system that operates in the dark is arbitrary, unjust and criminal. In Oklahoma this year, a Kafkaesque set of sealed motions, secret orders and closed-door hearings completely shut out a criminal defendant, his public defenders and the public. A trial judge served as handmaiden for the prosecutors, even failing to notify the defendant and his lawyers of the kangaroo court proceedings until after they had occurred.



The circumstances of U.S. Border Patrol agent Rogelio Martinez's death this week remain murkier than the Rio Grande River. Agent Martinez succumbed to critical head injuries early Sunday morning. An unnamed partner, who came to Martinez's aid after he radioed for help from a remote area of the Big Bend sector in Texas, also suffered serious wounds. Whether by deliberate ambush or accident, one of our border enforcers is dead and the other hospitalized.



The verdict is in. I pronounce Democrat leaders, left-wing feminists and Beltway journalists guilty of gross negligence and hypocrisy over a dirty rotten sleazeball in their midst. For the past 11 weeks, Bob Menendez has been on trial for 18 counts of bribery, fraud and corruption involving nearly $1 million in gifts and donations. The jury remained deadlocked as of Tuesday.



"Betrayed." Victor Avila is a survivor. Soft-spoken but iron-willed, he dedicated his life to law enforcement and to his country. Yet, the feds are now fighting tooth and nail to bury the full truth about the 2011 ambush by Los Zetas drug cartel thugs in Mexico that left him gravely wounded and his partner, special agent Jaime Zapata, dead. This week, two of the Mexican gangsters convicted in the horror on Highway 57 between Mexico City and Monterrey were sentenced to double life terms in prison.