Michelle Malkin

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Syndicated Columnist


Syndicated columnist and best-selling author.

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The metaphors don't get any better (or worse) than this: A van carrying Hillary Clinton, fresh from throwing her #MeToo sisters under the bus this weekend, crashed into a parking garage pillar on the way to a New Jersey campaign fundraiser Tuesday for beleaguered Democratic Sen. Bob Menendez. At her side was Huma Abedin, who is divorcing convicted serial sexter and underage girl stalker ex-Democratic Rep. Anthony Weiner.



“Gosnell: The Trial of America's Biggest Serial Killer” debuts in theaters nationwide on Oct. 12. I do believe this groundbreaking film by indie producers Phelim McAleer and Ann McElhinney is the most important movie in America right now — a true-life saga of good vs. evil, deadly medical malpractice, systemic government malfeasance and cultural apathy toward the most vulnerable members of our society.



How did we get here? The Kavanaugh Supreme Court nomination circus didn't happen by accident. The emergence of incredible — and by “incredible,” I mean the literal Merriam-Webster definition of “too extraordinary and improbable to be believed” — accusers in the 11th hour was no mistake. It is my contention that this grand unearth-and-destroy spectacle was planned, coordinated and facilitated by Senate Judiciary Committee Democrats and their staffers.



No consent. No disclosure. No escape. For legions of unwitting students and teachers across the country, this is the dangerous, de facto data policy Google has imposed over their school districts. An estimated 80 million students and teachers are now signed up for free “G Suite for Education” accounts (formerly known as Google Apps for Education); more than 25 million students and teachers now use Google Chromebooks. A Google logon is the key to accessing homework, quizzes, tests, group discussions, presentations, spreadsheets and other “seamless communication.” 



I have a message for virtue-signaling men who've rushed to embrace #MeToo operatives hurling uncorroborated sexual assault allegations into the chaotic court of public opinion. Stuff it. Your blanket “Believe Women” bloviations are moral and intellectual abominations that insult every human being of sound mind and soul.



Remember. Forget. Repeat. For 17 years, America has engaged in a collective ritual every Sept. 11: Hang flags, light candles, bow heads and make vows to "Never forget." Then, every Sept. 12, it's back to business as usual: See something, do nothing. Did you remember that five of the 9/11 hijackers -- Mohamed Atta, Marwan al-Shehhi, Hani Hanjour, Nawaf al-Hazmi and Satam al-Suqami -- carried out their killer plot after overstaying their visas, evading detection and avoiding deportation?



Question: What is more cringe-inducing than a celebrity funeral? Answer: Two back-to-back celebrity funerals. The ghoulish twin spectacles last week memorializing Aretha Franklin and John McCain brought out the worst in family, friends and frenemies. No matter your partisan affiliation, these vulgar exercises in self-indulgence should serve as object lessons on how not to depart with dignity.



In the competition of ideas, you can't win the game if you're not on the playing field. That's why Silicon Valley bigwigs' stubborn refusal to put business above their own personal partisan biases doesn't just rankle. It reeks. Equal access to social media is not just about sharing food pics, pet videos, makeup tutorials and travelogues. It's about ensuring the ability to disseminate and distribute political speech on the world's biggest platforms.



At this unique moment in American history, liberals and conservatives have something in common: an abhorrence of government prosecutors run amok. Republicans are livid at the federal fishing expedition known as the Mueller investigation. Bit players have been dragooned into an endlessly politicized probe. The media has taken sides; nonstop leaks have tainted the process.



It's quite simple: Some political relatives are more equal than others. Agenda-driven journalists love to exploit familial dysfunction when a prominent politician is conservative and his or her kinfolk espouse liberal views. When a vengeful offspring, sibling, cousin or distant relation wants to wreak havoc, instant fame and adoration are just a tweet or call away. The media schadenfreude over such bloody bloodline battles is thicker than California wildfire smoke.



“Frontier justice” costs too many citizens of all races, creeds, and backgrounds their freedom and their lives. In the old days of the Wild West, vigilantes worked outside the judicial system to punish rivals regardless of their guilt or innocence. Today, outlaws operate inside the bureaucracy to secure criminal convictions at all costs.



“If it wasn't for my artwork and God, there's no way we'd be having this conversation right now.” I'm in Colorado on a three-way phone call with Valentino Dixon, inmate No. 91B1615 at New York's Wende Correctional Facility, and his 27-year-old daughter, Tina Dixon, a first-grade teacher in Ohio. Faith, family and drawing -- golf courses, jazz musicians, landscapes -- have kept him alive and sane behind bars.



To commemorate my 25th wedding anniversary this week to my husband, Jesse, I asked readers on Facebook to share their own secrets to a long happy marriage. In short, the crowdsourced recipe for marital endurance includes faith, forgiveness, romance, kindness, selflessness and a healthy dose of humor. A union built to last begins with a promise and persists through compromise and commitment. It is about keeping your word, choosing the right words and knowing when no words are necessary.



It costs a pretty penny to earn a diploma in stupid. The annual list price to attend Boston University -- including tuition, fees, room and board -- currently rounds out to $70,000. To acquire a degree in economics from this tony institution of higher learning, an undergrad must complete courses in calculus, microeconomic and macroeconomic analysis, empirical economics, statistics and assorted electives.



I thought we had seen it all from radical feminists — and what we've seen is way, way more than anyone other than a gynecologist needs to see. Six years ago, Code Pink zealots traipsed across the fruited plain in giant female reproductive organ costumes demanding “respect” for women's bodies and women's abortion rights. They called themselves “dancing vaginas.”



Amid all the raging political headlines and hyperventilating tweets of the Summer of Resistance, a searing ember of news stopped me in my tracks this week. Jahi McMath has passed away. I never had a chance to meet the young California teen, but her fight for life gripped me three years ago and was never far from my mind or heart -- especially as my own daughter, the same age as Jahi, battled her own health crisis.



“No ban. No wall. No borders at all.” That is the radical rallying cry of the Democratic Socialists of America. Waving desecrated U.S. flags, grubby fists and ratty anarchy banners, DSA's professional protesters are targeting Trump administration officials, threatening immigration enforcement agents, and blockading detention facilities and processing centers nationwide.



When researchers ignore contradictory data that undermines their assumptions, junk science prevails. When police conduct investigations with predetermined outcomes, wrongful convictions abound. And when reporters cherry-pick facts and distort images to serve political agendas, media outlets become dangerous weapons of mass manipulation.



“I also have a dream.” This rallying cry, handwritten on a simple white placard held up by an Asian-American mom at a protest this week against liberal New York City Mayor Bill de Blasio's plan to radically transform New York City's public schools, says it all. A new civil rights struggle in education has exploded — yet the national media and the usual celebrity voices for equality and justice are nowhere to be found.



Quick, grab the smelling salts and clear the fainting couches. President Trump's pardon of conservative author Dinesh D'Souza last week violently triggered Beltway media elites. It's peanut butter, weed pollen, gluten, manspreading, Chick-fil-A, the national anthem, and Kryptonite all rolled into one giant political allergen. Allow me to administer the rhetorical, metaphorical antihistamine.