Maher Likens GOP Plan to 'Zodiac Killer'; Frets Too Many 'Waste-Making' Kids

June 25th, 2017 5:20 PM

On Friday's Real Time show on HBO, liberal comedian Bill Maher derided the Senate Republican health care plan as being like "a manifesto from the Zodiac killer," and trashed Republican Senator Ted Cruz as someone who does not believe the bill is "mean" enough, and who has experience at "making people sick."

He ended the show with a commentary in which he encouraged his audience members to reproduce less and snidely portrayed children as "resource-sucking, waste-making human beings" who are bad for the environment.

About five minutes into the opening monologue, Maher brought up the GOP health care reform plan:

And, of course, the, you know, real bad idea and real bad dude this week is the Senate unveiled their super-secret health care bill. (audience boos) Like me after the show, it was hashed out behind closed doors. And, you know, everybody's saying it was unveiled. Unveiled? Unveiled is not the right term. You unveil a sculpture. Nobody goes, "Behold, a turd." This is more likely something that was excreted, I mean.

He further demonized Republicans as he added:

Health care bill? More like a manifesto from the Zodiac killer. They should have published this by cutting out letters from the newspaper. It phases out Medicaid -- the safety net for our oldest, poorest, and most vulnerable citizens. It lets states drop the ObamaCare protection for preexisting conditions. And, just for spite, it defunds Planned Parenthood.

After the audience booed the plan, he complained about proposed tax cuts for the wealthy, and then took aim at Senator Cruz as he added:

And even still -- I love this -- a small group of Republicans -- (looks at audience member) thank you, one person -- a small group of Republican Senators say they can't vote for it because it's not mean enough. A group led by, not surprisingly, Ted Cruz -- who has been studying health care from top to bottom, up and down. Ted says, "Who knows more about making people sick than I do?"

As he concluded the regular "News Rules" segment at the end of the show, Maher recalled the passing of Mother's Day and Father's Day, and then called for a celebration of single people who help the world by not producing children. Without noting that most children grow up to be productive and therefore contribute back at the same time that they consume, the left-wing HBO host emphasized children as consumers of resources as he declared:

But we've spent a lifetime being the cool aunts and uncles, but while we celebrate everybody else, nobody celebrates us. And they really should because, you know what Mother Nature loves more than electric cars? Condoms. There's literally nothing you can do that's better for the environment than to not produce another resource-sucking, waste-making human being -- probably with a bad attitude.

He then added:

I didn't bring a kid into the world to consume valuable resources. Where's my breakfast in bed? Where's my coupon good for one foot rub? Where's my greeting card that says, "Roses are red, Violets are blue, You help the Earth, By keeping a lid on your goo"? So, you know, you can do it all. You can get the hybrid car, do the recycling, not throwing batteries in the trash -- it all adds up to a fraction of the good it would do to have just one less child because that child increases your carbon legacy by over 9,000 tons.

Below is a transcript of relevant portions of the Friday, June 23, Real Time with Bill Maher on HBO:

10:05 p.m. ET
And, of course, the, you know, real bad idea and real bad dude this week is the Senate unveiled their super-secret health care bill. (audience boos) Like me after the show, it was hashed out behind closed doors. And, you know, everybody's saying it was unveiled. Unveiled? Unveiled is not the right term. You unveil a sculpture. Nobody goes, "Behold, a turd." This is more likely something that was excreted, I mean. 

Health care bill? More like a manifesto from the Zodiac killer. They should have published this by cutting out letters from the newspaper. It phases out Medicaid -- the safety net for our oldest, poorest, and most vulnerable citizens. It lets states drop the ObamaCare protection for preexisting conditions. And, just for spite, it defunds Planned Parenthood. (audience boos) No more gynecological exams, although Trump says he is still available to grab p*****s.

Now, of course, I'm being one-sided and leaving out the good part. There's a massive tax cut for the top one percent. (audience boos) Yes, the guiding principle is: Rich people, if you like your money, you can keep your money. And even still -- I love this -- a small group of Republicans -- (looks at audience member) thank you, one person -- a small group of Republican Senators say they can't vote for it because it's not mean enough. A group led by, not surprisingly, Ted Cruz -- who has been studying health care from top to bottom, up and down. Ted says, "Who knows more about making people sick than I do?"

(...)

10:52 p.m. ET
And, finally, "New Rule," now that we've had "Mother's Day" and "Father's Day," let's set aside this Sunday to celebrate people who are neither with a new holiday called "I Didn't Reproduce Day." And let me be clear, I am not saying there's anything wrong with having a small number of children. After all, children are the leaders of tomorrow. Sometimes they're even the leaders of today. (shows image of Jared Kushner) I'm just saying, where's the holiday for single people? We don't have a day -- only happy hour. 

But we've spent a lifetime being the cool aunts and uncles, but while we celebrate everybody else, nobody celebrates us. And they really should because, you know what Mother Nature loves more than electric cars? Condoms. There's literally nothing you can do that's better for the environment than to not produce another resource-sucking, waste-making human being -- probably with a bad attitude.

i didn't bring a kid into the world to consume valuable resources. Where's my breakfast in bed? Where's my coupon good for one foot rub? Where's my greeting card that says, "Roses are red, Violets are blue, You help the Earth, By keeping a lid on your goo"? So, you know, you can do it all. You can get the hybrid car, do the recycling, not throwing batteries in the trash -- it all adds up to a fraction of the good it would do to have just one less child because that child increases your carbon legacy by over 9,000 tons.

(...)

So, you know, having kids or not having kids There's not a moral dimension to it. That's what I'm saying. It's just your taste. i don't have kids for the same reason you do. Because that's what each of us wants. I get it -- lot's of people love kids, although I must say no one in the world ever looks happier than when Maury Povich says, "You are not the father." (shows clips from the Maury Povich Show of men getting excited and celebrating after being told that they are not the father of their girlfriend's child)

(...)