'South Park' Mocks Hillary in First Debate

September 29th, 2016 12:42 AM

South Park again parodied the presidential election between Giant Douche and Turd Sandwich in season 20’s third episode, “The Damned.” 

Two nights after the country’s first presidential debate, South Park had its own between Mr. Garrison and Hillary Clinton. The show mocked Hillary’s reliance on political advisors and scripted sound bites. Hillary can’t even capitalize on Mr. Garrison literally telling the audience to vote for her.

Female advisor: Here’s everything to prepare you for the debates, ma'am. Just try and stay focused no matter what your opponent says.
Male advisor: Don’t let him rattle you. He's gonna do whatever he can to try and mess with your head. Don't buy into it. Whatever he says, just respond with "My opponent is a liar and he cannot be trusted."
Hillary: Got it.
Announcer: Decision 2016 -- the first presidential debate with moderator Lester Holt.
Holt: Okay, let's get right into it. Our first question is for you, sir. How will you deal with ground troops in Syria?
Mr. Garrison: Everyone, I need to just speak from the heart here. Uh, I don't know what the [bleep] I'm doing. I've got to come clean. I-I had no idea I would get this far, but the fact of the matter is, I should not be president. Okay? I will [bleep] this country up beyond repair. I am a sick, angry little man. Please, if you care at all about the future of our country, vote for her, okay? She's the one who at least has some experience. She's -- She's not as bad as you think. I promise. And unlike me, she's actually capable of running this country.
Hillary: My opponent is a liar and he cannot be trusted.
Female advisor: No!
Male advisor: Oh, my God. She is such a turd sandwich.
Hillary: What he is saying is simply not true. Do not believe it.
Mr. Garrison: I am giving you this, lady! I am giving you this! What the [bleep] are you doing? Okay, look. Look. Just vote for her. She -- She knows politics. She really wants to put this country first.
Hillary: My opponent is a liar --
Mr. Garrison: Would you just please shut up?
Hillary: And he cannot be --
Mr. Garrison: Get out of your own way!
Hillary: Cannot be trusted.
Mr. Garrison: Okay, okay. Look. She doesn't mean what she's saying. She just doesn't know how to take this because it's very weird and her advisors probably --
Hillary: My opponent is a liar and cannot be trusted.
Mr. Garrison: [Bleep] Oh, [bleep] Why the [bleep] did it have to be her? I am so [bleep]. 

Then they mock how people like Trump because “he doesn't sound like another politician.” Yeah, he doesn’t sound like a politician because he says crazy things that no other politician would ever say in their right mind! And yet, no matter what he says or does, his supporters adore him. 

Here Mr. Garrison tells the crowd that he is a complete jackass to thunderous applause. 

Randy: Okay. What the [bleep] is wrong with you people?! I just saw a new poll that says more and more of you are thinking about voting for that douche!
Stephen: Some of us are. A lot of people like what he has to say, all right?
Randy: You’re telling me that after that debate, you still want to vote for that guy?
Stephen: More than ever. Yep.
Randy: Did you see the same debates I saw?
Stephen: Don’t you get it, Randy? There's people in this country who are sick and tired. Tired of hearing all the rhetoric. Tired of Washington failing us while they pat their own backs. Finally, someone comes along who says what he feels. That's why people like him. Because, say what you want, at least he doesn't sound like another politician.
Mr. Garrison: America, please listen to me. I have no idea how to be president. I am a complete jackass and I have made a giant mistake here. [Cheering continues] No, no, no, no. No, no, no, no. Why are you clapping? I am not a good person for the White House. I am not a good person period!
Man: Finally, someone who doesn't talk like a politician! 

What a world we live in where you can’t tell the difference between a South Park episode and real life.