New York can be a lonely and desolate city. My only date on this rainy Tuesday night is Chris Matthews -- the last liberal left who will still talk to me about race.
The rest of the Non-Fox Media are lying in wait, hoping I'll disappear so they can revive the old chestnuts about racist Republicans again.
Among many such myths, there's Reagan's Philadelphia speech, George W. Bush's speech at Bob Jones University, someone yelling "Kill him" at the mention of Barack Obama's name at a Sarah Palin rally, tea partiers calling Rep. John Lewis the N-word, Scott Brown's red pickup truck, dog whistles, code words, and on and on and on.
All of these myths are disproved in my book, "Mugged: Racial Demagoguery From the Seventies to Obama." You should brush up on the facts because liberal lies never die. They just hide from the light like cockroaches and rush back out after dark.
Since my book came out, MSNBC, the Official Network for Racism Detection, has moved on from trying to convince black people that Republicans are promoting slavery and segregation to trying to convince women that Republicans plan to redefine rape and ban contraception.
Just two months ago, Lawrence O'Donnell was accusing Sen. Mitch McConnell of racism for saying Obama "has been working to earn a spot on the PGA Tour." (What IS it about black people and golf? It's such a dusty old stereotype!)
When most people think of golf, they think of the single whitest sport in the world, after polo. A few years ago, a PGA reference would have been made by Democrats only in order to sneer about elitist, country club Republicans.
But according to O'Donnell, McConnell was trying to align "the lifestyle of Tiger Woods with Barack Obama." Liberals feel they have the right to say what symbols mean, which can change at will, according to circumstances.
These days, even O'Donnell is off the racism beat. He has been reduced to challenging Tagg Romney to a fight -- from the safety of his television studio.
Only Chris Matthews is still on racism patrol. After the third presidential debate on Monday night, Matthews said that conservatives and "the white working class in the South" have a "racial hatred" for Obama. Why, Chris is so crazy about black people, he's even considering hiring one someday to work on his show! Not yet, but soon.
Liberals always cry racism in moments of stress, so it's understandable that Matthews would lash out. It must be very stressful seeing Obama go down in the polls even following the debates he allegedly won.
With the economy in the toilet and the Islamic world on fire, when Obama appears in person it's even worse than if he were sleeping. That's why -- contrary to popular belief -- the first debate was Obama's best performance.
Perhaps if liberals hadn't coddled Obama his entire life, giving him college acceptance letters, standing ovations and Nobel Peace prizes just for showing up, he would have been more prepared to debate someone a little more challenging than John McCain.
It's hard to evaluate Matthews' slander inasmuch as it contains no facts. But if it's conservatives and "the white working class in the South" who are burning with racial hatred, why don't white liberals ever vote for black representatives in their own congressional districts?
Black Democrats apparently can get elected to Congress only from majority black districts, whereas black Republicans are always elected from majority white districts: Gary Franks, J.C. Watts, Tim Scott, Allen West and (we hope!) Mia Love.
How come white liberals won't vote for a black representative? Why can't a black person represent Nita Lowey's district?
Democrats do nothing for black Americans except mine them for votes, ginning them up with tall tales about racist Republicans. This week, a guest on MSNBC said that Republicans' idea of foreign policy is to go to war with "one of those brown countries over there."
This is in contradistinction to Obama, who simply wants to impoverish the brown people over here. Have you seen the black unemployment rates lately? (They're hard to notice, since the NFM keeps them hidden in that vast warehouse with the Ark of the Covenant.)
The august New York Times recently explained that illegal immigration has no effect on unemployment because illegal immigrants compete only with "native-born workers without a high school diploma."
As noted by Vanderbilt law professor Carol Swain, author of "Debate Immigration," that means black workers. Illegal immigration, she says, harms blacks "the most because they're disproportionately low-skilled."
In liberals' view, blacks don't count. They aren't -- in the Times' words -- "the bulk of native workers."
According to the Times, Obama's black supporters were dismayed at a White House meeting last year when cards were passed out to campaign donors with talking points about how Obama had helped various groups. There were cards for women, Jews, gays and lesbians. But no talking points for how Obama had helped black Americans.
So Joe Biden tells a black audience that Romney wants to "put y'all back in chains," and MSNBC hosts claim opposition to Obama's re-election is based on "racial hatred," and the Democrats believe their work is done.