Comedy Central is usually the network that rips on President Bush -- including its nasty cartoon "Lil Bush." But it's not the network that tries to present equal satire on Hillary Clinton. Stephen Colbert hosted Hillary on "The Colbert Report" on Thursday night, and as he often does, he did a terrible job of even pretending to be a conservative as they portrayed Hillary as ultra-competent. Did they steal that from "Saturday Night Live?"
MRC's Melissa Lopez offers the transcript below the fold. Hot Air has the video.
STEPHEN COLBERT: "Anyway, the big news is last night's Democratic debate which took place here in Philadelphia.... What just happened? Jimmy, the rear screen is down! Where's my Liberty Bell?"
JIMMY: "Sorry, Stephen, it's just technical difficulties. We're not used to this studio."
COLBERT: "Well, get the technicians in here to figure it out!"
JIMMY: "Uh... I'm sorry, I can't do that. The technicians are back in New York."
COLBERT: "Are you telling me there's no one in this theater who can fix the mess we're in?"
HILLARY CLINTON: "I can, I can Stephen!"
COLBERT: "Senator, thank you so much. Thank you Senator!"CLINTON: "Well, let me handle this... Jimmy?"
JIMMY: "Yes, Senator Clinton?"
CLINTON: "About this screen. How are you feeding this? Through the router or the aux bus on the switcher?"
JIMMY: "Ahh, it's an Aux."
CLINTON: "Try toggling the input."
COLBERT: "Holy Cow!"
CLINTON: "You know what, Stephen? Your forehead is a little shiny, makeup! Makeup -- powder, please."
COLBERT: "Senator Clinton, you are so prepared for any situation. I just don't know how to thank you enough."
CLINTON: "That's no problem, Sstephen. I just love solving problems. Call me any time."
CLINTON: "Sure, call me at 3:00 A.M."
COLBERT: "Senator Clinton, everybody! I am going to call her at 3:00 A.M., I am sure she left her cellphone number."