Huffington Post: 'Drag Queens Are Better Role Models Than Disney Princesses'

October 1st, 2013 5:20 PM

The garbage published at the Huffington Post is absolutely astonishing.

Consider an article at the Post's front page Tuesday featuring the title "Why Drag Queens Are Better Role Models Than Disney Princesses":

The moment that I learned of the twin girls in my belly, I resolved not to send two hoes into the world. I'd teach them that self-expression is always more important than playing nice, and I'd warn them that waiting around for someone else to make their dreams come true is not only futile but downright scallywag.

So imagine my horror when my toddlers took to Disney princesses.

This was how Joy Martin-Malone's piece began. Of course, you've likely not heard of her.

Her bio simply reads, "Joy Martin-Malone lives in Portland, Ore., where she drinks too many beers. She is a hot mom of twins, as well as a writer, designer and reconstruction extraordinaire."

It's also apparent that this is the first piece of Martin-Malone's that the Post published.

So why begin with this nonsense?

[S]hoving your balls into your pelvic cavity might not make you a real woman, but it doesn't preclude you from being a better role model than a Disney princess.

Let's start with the obvious discrimination in the princess community, shall we? While most of the princesses are still blonde-haired, blue-eyed white girls, Disney has conjured a half-assed attempt to include a few other cultures, so you have Mulan, Jasmine and Pocahontas breaking the Aryan glass ceiling, though you'd have a hard time finding them anywhere but in the back row. It only took Disney 86 years to drop its Jim Crow laws and allow Tiana, the black princess, an invitation to the ball. But discrimination in the drag community? I'm pretty sure that the only requirement is to have a penis duct-taped between your legs; other than that, anything goes.

Secondly, ever wonder how those princesses are getting their fancy gowns and blinged-out crowns? Of the 11 Disney princesses currently included in the franchise, only one has ever had a job. (Apparently Tiana was born with such a socioeconomic disadvantage that she had to work two jobs to even attempt to make her big princess dreams a reality. [See also: discrimination.] And after all that hard work, she still couldn't seem to get ahead until she locked down a prince whose family could buy her those dreams.) Drag queens, on the other hand, have a strong work ethic. Basically, if a queen isn't working her butt pads off, she isn't making tips. No one is going to pay to watch a man put on a sequined dress and sit in the middle of the dance floor.


This was worthy of the Post's front page?

Funnier still, the folks at Slate agreed with the article:

Martin-Malone’s essay is full of smart reasoning for her recommendation that [drag queen] Sharon Needles claw the spotlight away from Snow White, not to mention some press-on sharp observations about the lack of physical distinction between princesses and queens...while some queens may enjoy the attention of limited fame, most are just trying to earn a living with their inventiveness, wit, and artfulness. As a role-model for young girls (and boys), a fierce queen is heads-and-shoulders above a silly princess—and that’s not just because of the heels.

Imagine that.

For those that can stand it, this was Martin-Malone's conclusion:

When it comes down to it, I respect drag queens. They are artists. They are able to conceptualize an idea and transform themselves -- without the help of magic, I might add. They are risk takers. They are punk. But Disney princesses? They are a man-made franchise created to sell cheaply made shit to our daughters. They are a perpetuation of the stereotype of the weak, dumb woman who obediently waits for a man to come along and make her valuable. Between the two I'll always promote the big-wigged man crooning "I'm Every Woman." Werq.

Isn't that special?