Maher: 'Every Black Person Scares Republicans Unless They Look Like Urkel, Talk Like Colin Powell and Wear Bill Cosby Sweaters'

March 19th, 2011 11:56 AM

Bill Maher went on a hate-filled rant about Republicans Friday night because the GOP in his view are too interested in "useless distractions" like public unions, ACORN, NPR and Planned Parenthood.

After telling his "Real Time" audience, "Governing this country with Republicans is like rooming with a meth addict," he dubbed the entire Party as racist saying, "Every black person scares you unless they look like Urkel, talk like Colin Powell and wear Bill Cosby sweaters" (video follows with transcript and commentary):

BILL MAHER: New Rule: Fantasies are for sex, not public policy. When you go down the list of useless distractions that make up the Republican Party agenda – public unions and Sharia law, anchor babies and a mosque at Ground Zero, ACORN and National Public Radio, the war on Christmas, the New Black Panthers, Planned Parenthood, Michelle Obama’s war on dessert. Oh for Christ’s sake, she’s just trying to get you to eat a carrot not stick it up your ass! – you realize that one reason nothing gets done in America is that one of the political parties puts so much more into fantasy problems than real ones. Governing this country with Republicans is like rooming with a meth addict. You want to address real life problems like when the rent is do, and they’re saying, “How can you even think of that stuff when there’s police scanner voices coming out of the air conditioning unit?”

What's really hysterical is that Maher later depicted a "real problem" facing the nation is climate change, but it's certainly not surprising this idiot has problems separating fantasy from reality:

MAHER: Do you know what Republicans in Congress were working on this week? Two gym teachers named Sen. James Inhofe (R-Ok.) and Rep. Steve King (R-Ia.) introduced a bill that would require that all government functions be conducted in English, because you let someone down at the DMV say “Si” instead of “Yes,” the next thing you know George Lopez is hosting the “Tonight Show.” In Oklahoma, the voters there banned Sharia law, which is the strict religious law in the Koran, and who could blame them what with their Muslim population rapidly approaching zero.

The falsehoods on display here were almost breathtaking.

A Rasmussen poll taken last May found 87 percent of Americans favor English being declared our official language. One in August found 58 percent of respondents support English-only ballots. As such, Inhofe and King are with the majority of Americans, and Maher is once again with the minority.

As for Oklahoma's Muslim population "rapidly approaching zero," almost one percent of that state is a member of that religion. The Islamic Society of Oklahoma City gives a breakdown of Muslims in that region, as well as directions to the city's mosques, while proudly declaring, "Islam is the fastest growing religion in the United States. Every four years there are more than double the amount of Muslims living in the U.S."

As such, and not at all surprisingly, Maher was totally clueless of the facts on these two issues.

Potentially more comical, the so-called comedian just last Friday called the Koran "a hate-filled book" while charging "the threat potentially from radicalized Muslims is a unique and greater threat" than from "right-wing militias and Timothy McVeigh types." Now, just seven days later, he's defending this religion while castigating those trying to protect themselves from its radical elements.

Alas, that's standard operational procedure for Maher. Facts and positions are tools to be twisted and manipulated in order to support those he agrees with, attack those he doesn't, and advance an agenda shared by a minority of Americans. But he wasn't done:

MAHER: And how can you explain the fixation with ACORN and voter fraud? Republicans are obsessed with people cooking up wild, non-existent schemes to vote ignoring one important truth: this is America – no one wants to vote. What’s next – jury duty fraud? Washing the dishes fraud? I mean, the things that these people get exorcised about.

I guess Maher was out of the country for all the Democrat claims of voter fraud in the 2000 and 2004 presidential elections. To suggest such accusations only come from the Right is akin to claiming only conservatives use violent rhetoric.

Oh, that's right. Maher's guilty of that as well.

Conveniently, this led another portion of the program when Maher, apparently by contract, had to take a swipe at the former governor of Alaska:

MAHER: Sarah Palin is one of those leading the charge to get rid of Planned Parenthood because there’s two things Sarah Palin is not interested in: it’s planning and parenthood.

[Laughter and applause]

And then there’s the New Black Panthers. Look, Republicans, I know this picture from Election Day 2008 scared you. If these guys weren’t trying to intimidate voters, why did they show up to that polling place deliberately black? And now it’s two years later, and that picture still scares you. Look, that guy who drove up from Orange County just ran out.

Actually, it wasn't the color of their skin that frightened people away from that polling station. It was the nightsticks in their hands!

But Maher and his racist ilk don't think weapons at a polling place are at all concerning as long as those wielding them are voting for Democrats.

MAHER: But, it’s time you understood something: every black person scares you unless they look like Urkel, talk like Colin Powell and wear Bill Cosby sweaters, you fill your adult diaper. But here’s the thing, there are real problems: climate change, loose nukes, debt, infrastructure, the wealth gap, our addiction to oil from weird distant places run by monsters that want us dead – like Alaska. But NPR is not a problem. National Public Radio isn’t corrupting anyone and I’ll tell you why: because the simple-minded sheep who take orders from the radio are all taken.

The simple-minded sheep are all taken?

If only that were true, for if it were, his show would have been canceled years ago for having zero ratings.