Jay Leno went after his former late night rival on Friday using some of his opening monologue to poke fun at David Letterman's recently disclosed sexual escapades with staffers.
As Friday's program began, Leno quipped, "If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you’ve got the wrong studio."
But that was only the beginning (video embedded below the fold with transcript, h/t Mediaite):
If you came here tonight for sex with a talk-show host, you've got the wrong studio. Alright? So. Boy, what is going on? Boy, first, Conan hit his head, then somebody tries to extort money from Letterman. I'm so glad I'm out of late night. Oh. You know, I want to say I myself was once the victim of an extortion plot. How do you think NBC got me to do a 10:00 show? That's why I'm here. I am happy to say I have never had a sexual relationship with any of my staff members.