Comedy Central Mocks Crucified Jesus as Bodybuilding Sex Maniac

Comedy Central's anti-Christian "humor" reached a new low on Tuesday's @ Midnight, after the game show used an image of a crucifix featuring a muscular Jesus to launch vile jabs at Christ. Host Chris Hardwick prompted comedians Mary Lynn Rajskub and Kurt Braunohler to come up with lines from "this Jesus's sermon." Rajskub replied, "Get thee behind me Satan, and spot me; and then, I will in turn spot for you; and then, we can soap each other's dicks in the locker room." Braunohler went further: "Do others as you would have others do you. Ripped Jesus loves to f**k." [video below]

Hardwick led into the sketch by introducing, "our live challenge, 'Jesus Christ, You're Ripped'!" He asserted that "American Christians tend to represent Jesus as a meek, friendly white guy, who likes like someone you might rent a snowboard from," and featured a version of a Polish depiction of Jesus called the Divine Mercy Image. He asked, "Is that really how you want your all-powerful, savior to be represented?" Hardwick then introduced the image of the crucifix: "Personally, I prefer the Jesus they worship in Korea. Man, he's jacked! Look at that! Damn!"

Before asking his comedian guests to come up with lines from "this Jesus's sermon," the host paraphrased a catchphrase of Marvel's superhero, The Incredible Hulk: "Jesus smash!" After a commercial break, Hardwick first turned to Ferguson, who kept it cleaner than the other two contestants: "I think I need to perform a miracle, 'cause these Pilates are sick!'" Rajskub, who played Chloe on Fox's 24, followed with her male appendage crack. The crude Braunohler went last, and also finished last in the points that Hardwick awarded: "Thousand points, Mary Lynn; five hundred, Craig; 250, Kurt."

This isn't the first time that the Comedy Central program has lewdly attacked Jesus. Back in November 2104, comedian contestant Jeffrey Ross reacted to an image from a calendar of Catholic priests: "I'm not even gay, and I want to nail him, like Jesus to the Cross." Hardwick added an anti-Semitic joke: "Listen. don't worry: Jeff [Ross] is a Jew. He did nail Jesus to the Cross."

In a Wednesday press release, the Catholic League's Bill Donohue blasted Comedy Central, noting that "the crucifixion of Jesus is a favorite target for laughs" on the game show. Donohue later remarked that "this latest mockery of Christ's suffering on the Cross was broadcast in the middle of the Christian holy season of Lent was surely no accident. That they only choose Christian holy seasons to act like beasts is telling" (note: MRC President Brent Bozell serves on the board of advisors for the Catholic League).

The transcript of the relevant portions of the February 23, 2016 edition of Comedy Central's @ Midnight program:

CHRIS HARDWICK: It's time for our live challenge, 'Jesus Christ, You're Ripped'! (audience cheers and applauds) Now, American Christians tend to represent Jesus as a meek, friendly white guy, who likes like someone you might rent a snowboard from. (audience laughs) I don't know how accurate this is. But is that really how you want your all-powerful, savior to be represented? Personally, I prefer the Jesus they worship in Korea. Man, he's jacked! Look at that! Damn! (audience laughs)

CRAIG FERGUSON (off-camera): Wow—

KURT BRAUNOHLER (off-camera): Wow—

FERGUSON: He's even got — he's got the leg muscles and — wow!

MARY LYNN RAJSKUB: It's like, made-up muscles—

FERGUSON: Yeah—

HARDWICK: Jesus smash! (audience and Braunholer laugh). Thanks to Reddit-er Lokimonoxide for reposting this gem. Comedians, what's a line from this Jesus's sermon? We're going to get your answers after the break.

(Commercial break)

HARDWICK: Welcome back to @ Midnight. (audience applauds) Before the break, I showed you a picture of a super-ripped Korean Jesus, clearly coming back from the gun show. I asked you to — guys, give me a line from one of his sermons. Let's see what you came up with. Craig Ferguson.

FERGUSON: 'I think I need to perform a miracle, 'cause these Pilates are sick!' (audience applauds)

HARDWICK: Yeah. Yup. (laughs)

FERGUSON: (unintelligible) Like, started off Jesus; and then, he got 'guy in a gym.' That was my whole — conceive of the thing—

HARDWICK: That was the whole thing. It works very well—

FERGUSON: He was Jesus, and then (flexes muscles)

HARDWICK: He went on a journey. It was wonderful—

FERGUSON: He went on a journey—

HARDWICK: Mary Lynn. (laughs)

RAJSKUB: Get thee behind me Satan, and spot me; and then, I will in turn spot for you; and then, we can soap each other's dicks in the locker room. (audience cheers and applauds)

FERGUSON: Okay; okay—

HARDWICK: All right. (audience continues applause)

Kurt Braunohler.

BRAUNOHLER: Do others as you would have others do you. Ripped Jesus loves to (expletive deleted) (audience applauds)

HARDWICK: All right. I got to do a thousand points for Mary Lynn—

FERGUSON: No kidding — yeah—

HARDWICK: Thousand points, Mary Lynn; five hundred, Craig; 250, Kurt.

Matthew Balan
Matthew Balan
Matthew Balan is a news analyst at Media Research Center