Allison Kilkenny, a self-styled “political humorist,” ripped the Catholic Church on the Huffington Post on Thursday for threatening to pull the plug in its social services in Washington, DC if same-sex “marriage” is legalized there. Kilkenny labeled the Church the “Inexplicably Evil Organization Most Disconnected From Real People,” and bashed Pope Benedict XVI as a “decrepit former Nazi youth.”
The “humorist” (pictured at right, courtesy of Wikimedia) began her screed, titled “Catholic Church Threatens to Stop Feeding Homeless Over Gay Marriage,” by comparing the Church to Goldman Sachs, and used her “evil” label only after three sentences (perhaps showing a bit of restraint on her part): “A few days ago, I wrote about Goldman Sachs’s transition from a bank holding company into a public relations disaster machine. I argued that Goldman’s CEO, Lloyd Blankfein, has been behaving like he wants to be attacked by a ferocious mob. Now, it appears the Catholic church is determined to unseat Blankfein in the ‘Inexplicably Evil Organization Most Disconnected From Real People’ category.”
Four paragraphs later, after spinning the content of the Archdiocese of Washington’s November 10 letter to the DC city council (which warned that the proposed legislation which would legalize same-sex “marriage” wouldn’t “permit Catholic Charities and other religious service organization to freely function as religious entities serving the needs of the District” and called for the expansion of “appropriate safeguards to protect religious freedom and to preserve the ability of...service providers to continue to serve the...unmet needs of the residents of the District”), Kilkenny used the tried-and-true priest sex abuse bludgeon against the Church (language warning):
So this “Please Stop Being An Asshole, You Guys” law is really the thing that has sent the Archdiocese flying off a cliff. The child molestations, and filing sticky-fingered priests from diocese to diocese is all part of God’s grand plan, but showing the slightest bit of consideration for gay couples is just too much [emphasis hers].
Beyond being simply mean and intolerant, this is just a stupid strategy for the Catholic church to employ. It may be a symbol of religion, but the church is also a business that needs to expand its customer base, or it will become extinct like Greek polytheism or New Coke.
The Huffington Post writer spent the rest of her tirade rehashing tired left-wing talking points against the Church’s teaching, dipping from time to time into plain anti-Catholic (and anti-Christian in general) bigotry. She also made sure to include a shot at Pope Benedict XVI, raising his forced conscription into the Hitler Youth in another predictable move:
And don’t give me that “It’s in the Bible so we can’t change our beliefs!” crap. Religions stray from the Bible’s teachings all the time the second people realize they’re being unspeakably cruel to a society’s sect. The Bible was used to legitimize slavery, and yet we don’t do that anymore, so surely Catholics can make the same jump when it comes to gay marriage....
The Catholic church got so desperate to expand its ranks that it recently offered Anglicans sanctuary under the Virgin Mary’s skirt, supposedly to hide from all of the icky gays and lesbians the Anglican church has embraced (in a Christ-like fashion, some might say)....
As the Catholic church continues its march toward antiquity, I won’t be shedding any tears. In addition to preying on the fears and prejudices of the unenlightened masses, I have no tolerance for tax-exempt pyramid schemes that take money from poor people to build golden houses in Italy for a decrepit former Nazi youth, who now wears a funny hat and occasionally blathers in a dead language about hating gay people, suppressing women, and always -- always -- refusing to wear condoms.
What’s so strange is that the Catholic church itself seems determined to perish. Attitudes toward gay people are dramatically changing in this country, and yet the church remains stuck in its corner, fingers in ears, eyes shut, refusing to accept that the tide is turning.
This sort of far-left hate speech isn’t strange (while we’re on the topic of “strange”) to HuffPost. The Media Research Center released a special report in September 2007 documenting the “flame-throwing, name-calling, and hate speech against conservatives” that was all too common during the Huffington Post’s first two years. Kilkenny’s screed is just the latest example of the site’s intolerance of right-of-center perspectives.