Daily Show Mocks Ignorant, Anti-Immigrant Americans Vs. Enlightened, Tolerant Canadians

May 18th, 2016 9:30 AM

On Tuesday night’s Daily Show, host Trevor Noah and correspondent Hasan Minhaj spent a full five minutes of the show mocking Americans as hateful and stupid with ignorant attitudes towards immigrants. Minhaj played the part of a fear-mongering American who was schooled by the more compassionate neighbors to the North for their “enlightened”, welcoming attitudes toward Syrian refugees. In Hasan’s overwrought caricature of an ignorant American, not once did he bring up the massive problems with crime and assault or the backlash that Germany’s formerly inclusive immigration policy has had on their country.

Noah introduced the report by describing America as “a country of immigrants who seem to delight in hating newer immigrants. Lately the Muslim kind.” Noah added, “But your neighbors to the North have been a bit more welcoming,setting the tone for the kind of report that was to follow.

In the video segment, Hasan dutifully plays the usual Daily Show schtick of the dumb American who gets schooled by the more progressive party in question. In this case, it was a group of pro-refugee Canadians. After telling the Canadians that they were “f**king nuts” for wanting Syrian refugees to come into their country, the Canadians tried to enlighten Minhaj with “the facts.”

CANADIAN:  Oh, you guys. Don't you have more Americans dying from gun incidents and mass shootings than terrorism every year?

MINHAJ: But those people aren't terrorists. They have mental problems. There's a difference.

CANADIAN: The difference being the color of the skin?

MINHAJ: Yes. White people have mental illnesses. Brown people are biologically designed to kill you guys.

CANADIAN:  Oh, have you met a recently arrived refugee? 

MINHAJ: Why would I meet someone who is going to kill me? 

However, Hasan never brings up the serious issues with having such a liberal foreign policy, nor the fact that Canada’s prime minister Justin Trudeau has just been elected and there is no telling what effect this policy will have on Canadians. But if recent history is any indicator, there could be a backlash greater than anyone anticipated, and will The Daily Show follow up and apologize if that happens? Probably not.

See the full transcript below from The Daily Show,  May 17.

TREVOR NOAH: Welcome back to The Daily Show! You know, America is a country of immigrants who seem to delight in hating newer immigrants. Lately, the Muslim kind. But your neighbors to the north have been a bit more welcoming.

NOAH: As Hasan Minhaj reports on the first of a two or part series.

MINHAJ: Canada, from their awful beer to their God-awful Canadian tuxedos, they've got a lot to apologize for. But now they have a new reason to say sorry and it's coming to destroy America -- (in Canadian accent). Talking about Syrian refugees.

FOX NEWS:Thousands of Syrian refugees entering Canada will sneak across the border and some of them will be I.S.I.S. supporters.

ANDREA TANTAROS: There is very little we can do to prevent the problem of refugees from permeating our border and coming in. It's very, very, scary.

MINHAJ: Very, very, very scary. Canada's super-progressive prime minister Justin Trudeau allowed 25,000 of these potential terrorists into Canada and they're going to transform Canada from this to this. Winter is coming! It's up to me to stop it. Luckily, I had allies across the border. These Canucks are doing something about the invasion and more pissed off than any Canadians I had ever seen.

CANADIAN: People are really upset. Good. We're demanding the immigration minister bring in more refugees and do it quickly.

MINHAJ: You want more refugees?

CANADIAN: Absolutely. We have thousands of people across the country waiting to welcome people into their homes.

MINHAJ: Are you (bleep) nuts?

MINHAJ: Turns out they were part of the problem, something called the private sponsorship program. Only in Canada can groups of five or more people raise money and bring over Syrian refugees themselves! It's like kickstarter for terrorists!

CANADIAN:  Almost 10,000 have been brought in by groups of ours.

MINHAJ: This is like Game of Thrones. You will let these brown ice walkers go nuts in the north and then cross the border and kill all Americans.

CANADIAN: This isn't about you. We're doing it for ourselves and the refugees we're bringing.

MINHAJ: It is about me if I die.  

CANADIAN: It’s not that high a risk. Look at the facts. We don't say a-boot.

MINHAJ: I'm soory.

CANADIAN: That, we say.

MINHAJ: Since 9/11 zero terrorist have been crossing the Canada border but two people tried and one was a refugee. Sure, he was caught and is serving two consecutive life sentences but you can't say there is a zero% chance. It's way more, a 0.00019% chance.

MINHAJ: Our border is like a Starbucks bathroom. Anybody can walk in there and blow (bleep) up.

CANADIAN: They're safe. They come here, they Canadianize.

CANADIAN:  Oh, you guys. Don't you have more Americans dying from gun incidents and mass shootings than terrorism every year?

MINHAJ: But those people aren't terrorists. They have mental problems. There's a difference.

CANADIAN: The difference being the color of the skin?

MINHAJ: Yes. White people have mental illnesses. Brown people are biologically designed to kill you guys.

CANADIAN:  Oh, have you met a recently arrived refugee?

MINHAJ: Why would I meet someone who is going to kill me?

MINHAJ: I flew back the to New York but my African boss told me I had to interview a real refugee family so I bought a (bleep) of life insurance and headed back to Ottawa (speaking in foreign language)

REFUGEE: I can speak English.

MINHAJ: Oh, okay. Hello.

REFUGEE: Hello.

MINHAJ:: Okay. Thank you.

MINHAJ: Their apartments seem normal, almost demand, but there was no telling what these foreigners were up to back in their homeland.

REFUGEE: My profession is a dental technician.

MINHAJ: A ha! Everybody hates going to the dentist!

REFUGEE: I studied English literature.

MINHAJ: Wow.

REFUGEE: My favorite book is King Lear.

MINHAJ: I haven't even read King Lear.

REFUGEE: Yeah, and I have.

MINHAJ: You're making me feel very stupid. Whatever, Shakespeare isn't even real English. What if he likes a book. Doesn't mean she's magically loyal to Canada.

REFUGEE: Canada is my dream come true. The difference is the safety we feel here.

MINHAJ: Safety? Yes, safety. Oh, yeah, safety. I guess when you see refugees on TV, they're always running away from danger. But it's too risky. If even one refugee goes bad, it could cost Canadian lives.

CANADIAN: So we're going to decide not to help 49,999 people because one person went bad.

MINHAJ: Yep. That's the American way.

CANADIAN: That's not how we look at it. We wouldn't blame all Syrians for that one Syrian. We don't blame all Americans for Donald Trump.

MINHAJ: These guys didn't get it. I decided to seek out the man who started this mess. The one Canadian who could shut this whole thing down. Why are you trying to destroy North America? Prime minister Justin Trudeau. Clean out your drawers, America, it's about to get messy. Tomorrow, when we return for part two, the battle from North America.