Sally Kohn: 'Chick-fil-A is Like Gay Sex!'

July 17th, 2014 10:51 AM

Leave it to a liberal CNN commentator to find the connection between chicken and gay sex. Sally Kohn congratulated Chick-fil-A on its recent success of taking over Kentucky Fried Chicken as Americas preferred fast food chicken provider. She applauded the chain for providing more healthy options, but warned that the move somehow equals being...er, gay? “But psst! Don’t you know ‘skinny’=gay?” What?

In an article appearing in The Daily Beast, Kohn bizarrely compared the “newness” of Chick-fil-A and Americas predisposition to try new things as similar to gay sex. “Chick-fil-A is like gay sex. Don’t knock it till you try it!”

Kohn hasn’t actually taken her own advice as she admits she has never had Chick-fil-A, but reassures her readers that she’s “open-minded enough to not flat out hate it” especially now that it’s the most popular chicken chain in America. She also informed everyone that “chicken is also the nickname for a young man seeking the attention of an older man.” How does this information add to the article?

The Daily Beast writer expressed her pleasure with the company’s recent decision to start moving toward anti-biotic free chicken and eliminating things like high fructose corn syrup. But rather than simply applauding the chain she warned them that this move towards a healthier menu is the height of “irony” because it doesn’t exactly help their “anti-gay agenda since we all know obesity increases heterosexuality.” Of course, Kohn couldn’t back that claim up with data, but argued it makes sense nonetheless.

“When you’re svelter you feel more sexy and so suddenly you start exploring your options and you’re more likely to add a whole other half of the population to that exploration! Why not? You look so damn good in those mom jeans now. Plus if you know any gay men, you know exactly what I mean.”

That’s right Chick-fil-A, deciding to provide healthy options for America equals encouraging homosexuality!

The crux of the piece would appear to be a desperate attempt to convince Americans that Chick-fil-A’s success has nothing to do with the company's family values, a claim no one is making, but Kohn is assuming, but is just a mere indication of Americans branching out and trying new things.

"We Americans like to try new things. Like gay sex, which is also rising in popularity."

Leave it to Sally Kohn to use the success of a fast food chain to promote the “rising popularity of gay sex.”