So MTV is holding a "townhall" for President Obama on Oct. 14, at 4 p.m. in Washington, D.C.
In this case, a town hall is short-hand for "an event where annoying questions are asked by unemployed hipsters with vintage t-shirts and edgy eyewear."
But a casting call has surfaced, and this is what it says:
Seeking-Audience Members: males & females, 18+. To ensure that the audience represents diverse interests and political views, include your name...and what issues, if any, you are interested in or passionate about. Also, provide a recent photo and short description of your political views.
So what's the point of this pre-screening process? Well, it serves three purposes:
One: to make sure the audience reflects America - which, coming from MTV - means it will look like something a Benetton ad might vomit, if it could vomit. Get ready for every nationality you can think of, plus of few you've never heard of - along with some amusing piercings and Asian lettered tattoos.
My prediction: there will be a transgendered Eskimo with ADHD there to ask Obama to get her harp seal recognized as an assistant animal.
Two: to make sure the questions asked will reflect the MTV's earnest concerns. The environment. Health care. Amnesty. Hermaphrodite bathroom rights. The central strategy: to avoid coming down too hard on Obama, and instead placing the criticism on us, for expecting too much from Captain Delicious.
And three: a smattering of hot chicks and some wistful emo dudes, who will fawn over Obama like he's Justin Bieber with a tan.
Me, I can't wait to watch - I find projectile vomiting is ten times better than the Stairmaster when it comes to losing weight.
And if you disagree with me, you're a racist, homophobic paraphobe.