Bee Uses Childish Bathroom Jokes to Bemoan GOP for Not Compromising Post-2010 Midterms

February 29th, 2016 11:50 PM

Instead of going on a tirade against Donald Trump or the horrors of ISIS, TBS’s Full Frontal host Samantha Bee chose to resume her vile attacks on conservatives with her latest show on Monday night featuring video of an elephant pooping to describe Republicans elected in the 2010 midterms. 

Specifically, Bee dubbed Republican Congressman Trey Gowdy (S.C.) as the “Benghazi queen” and the House Freedom Caucus as “wild-eyed tea party kamikazes” whose “mission” has been “to block the cock of democracy.”

The former Daily Show correspondent started the diatribe by first chiding liberals for not voting in the 2010 midterm elections and allowing the electorate to “turn this country redder than Carrie's prom dress” and send “87 Republican freshmen into the Capital including a host of ill-qualified and temperamentally unfit newbies like Benghazi queen Trey Gowdy, and grown-adult Michael Grimm of Staten Island, best known for threatening to murder a reporter.”

Moments later, she took aim at how the 2010 midterms gave birth to many who would go onto launch the House Freedom Caucus that after electing John Boehner Speaker of House, they “immediately started eating him alive.”

Lamenting their refusal to comply or compromise with President Obama’s agenda, Bee resorted to more inappropriate language to bash then-Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell: “Do they ever hate the c-word? Speaking of c-words, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, not even coy about his party's mission to block the cock of democracy.”

While the media attacks Marco Rubio for firing back at Trump, they haven’t batted an eye at the vulgar Bee, who decided on this Monday to compare Congress to an STD: “Congratulations! You did manage to make yourselves less popular than genital warts. Some people like them, like sexy braille.”

Bee blasted the government shutdown plus congressional appeals of ObamaCare and their inability to pass amnesty as reasons why Americans are willing to vote for Trump and then turned her fury to voters for electing conservatives on the state level as video of an elephant violently defecating aired behind her:

That is nothing compared to what happened in the states, after moderates and progressives hit the snooze button in 2010, while the new Congress was putting a banana in the tailpipe of our democracy, the newly elected state lawmakers and governors did the opposite, unclenching their legislative spinsters and passing every shitty idea from deep within their bowels, bankrupting school systems, redrawing congressional districts and doing everything short of bronzing pregnant women to block access to abortions. 

Before going to break, Bee told those in Super Tuesday states to go out and vote “unless the State Senator you failed to stop in 2010 cockblocked you with a voter I.D. law.”

The relevant portions of the transcript from TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee on February 29 can be found below.

TBS’s Full Frontal with Samantha Bee
February 29, 2016
10:33 p.m. Eastern

SAMANTHA BEE: The most important election of your lifetime wasn't in 28. It was two whole years later and you didn't vote in it, and you got your ass kicked. The year was 2010. Kesha’s Brave Cry for Help was at the top of the dance's charts. The man-made disaster, spewing toxic foulness wasn't Donald Trump but Deep Water Horizon and, oh, yeah, there was an election, just one of those boring midterm ones that Will.I.Am does not make videos about and just like our college midterms, most of America figured it was fine to sleep through this one. 

(....)

BEE: And just as you'd expect, when the voting public looks like the cocoon, they turn this country redder than Carrie's prom dress. 2010 swept 87 Republican freshmen into the Capital including a host of ill-qualified and temperamentally unfit newbies like Benghazi queen Trey Gowdy, and grown-adult Michael Grimm of Staten Island, best known for threatening to murder a reporter.

FORMER REPUBLICAN CONGRESSMAN MICHAEL GRIMM (N.Y.): Let me be clear to you. If you ever do that to me again, I’ll throw you off this fucking balcony. [LAUGHTER]

BEE: Ha ha ha! Funny story. He's in jail now. [LAUGHTER] Not for assault but tax evan. But still, good guy. Good guy. They got elected with commercial like this. 

NARRATOR OF RENEE ELLMERS AD: After the Muslims conquered Jerusalem, Cordoda, and Constainople, they built victory mosques. 

BEE: Oh, man. Remember when we were scared to death of mosques and not Syrian children? I feel so old. [LAUGHTER] 2010 also brought us a big chunk of the House Freedom Caucus, the wild-eyed tea party kamikazes, who handled John Boehner the Speaker's gavel and then immediately started eating him alive, although I can see why. He is packed with beta carotene. The Republicans of the 112th Congress arrived on Capitol Hill ready to roll up their sleeves and then immediately roll them back down. 

REPUBLICAN SENATOR MIKE LEE (Utah) [in January 2011]: I'm not going to vote to increase the national debt limit. 

THEN-REPUBLICAN SENATOR JIM DEMINT (S.C.) [in September 2010]: We need more people who will say no. 

REPUBLICAN SENATOR RAND PAUL (Ky.) [at CPAC 2011]: I don't like to compromise. 

THEN-HOUSE MINORITY LEADER JOHN BOEHNER [in December 2010]: I am not going to compromise on my principles. 

THEN-CONGRESSMAN MIKE PENCE (Ind.) [in October 2010]: There will be no compromises. 

BEE: Man! Do they ever hate the c-word? Speaking of c-words, Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell, not even coy about his party's mission to block the cock of democracy. 

THEN-SENATE MINORITY LEADER MITCH MCCONNELL (Ky.) [on 11/04/10]: Political priority over the next two years should be to deny president Obama a second term. 

BEE: He couldn't even get that done, but congratulations! You did manage to make yourselves less popular than genital warts. Some people like them, like sexy braille. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE] Meanwhile, here's what the conservative children's crusade has achieved since it turned the House into a who can hold their breath the longest, I know you are, but what am I, why are you hitting yourself contest in the back seat of a car that no grown-up was driving. They shut down the government, they somehow turned 60 failed attempts at taking away people's health insurance into a badge of honor and refused to vote on immigration reform, leaving Americans so frustrated, they're willing to vote for the first two bit wall salesman who says he'll stop Mexicans from raping their jobs. That’s right, if you didn’t vote in 2010, you built that, but oh, my god! That is nothing compared to what happened in the states, after moderates and progressives hit the snooze button in 2010, while the new Congress was putting a banana in the tailpipe of our democracy, the newly elected state lawmakers and governors did the opposite, unclenching their legislative spinsters and passing every shitty idea from deep within their bowels, bankrupting school systems, redrawing congressional districts and doing everything short of bronzing pregnant women to block access to abortions. All things that directly affect your life a million times more than the presidency, but we'll get into that next week. Be sure to vote on Super Tuesday unless the State Senator you failed to stop in 2010 cockbocked you with a voter I.D. law. Oh, there he is. Doing what he does best. [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]