Alleged comedian Kathy Griffin can't seem to get enough of the Palin family, this time mocking Bristol Palin's recent chin surgery in her standup act "Gurrl Down," which aired on Bravo at 9 pm on Wednesday. "I swear to god, she looks like Jay Leno" said Griffin. She then mocked Palin's statement that the surgery was medically necessary by making a crude reference to oral sex.
Griffin also relished the opportunity to recount her run in with Congresswoman Michele Bachmann at an event in Washington DC. "You know that she truly questions whether or not slavery happened. Anybody? Yeah, remember that [expletive] when you're in the booth." If Griffin, for whom facts have never been an impediment, is referring to this video, her remarks would appear as intelligent as they are humorous. Bachmann clearly states "We know there was slavery that was still tolerated when the nation began." Bachmann's history here isn't as well stated as it could be - John Quincy Adams generally isn't considered a founder - but Griffin should be advised that many of the founders were themselves opposed to slavery.
Griffin also appears to have been disappointed that the Minnesota Congresswoman was not in the mood to debate her. When Bachmann told Griffin she would not be supporting the repeal of Don't Ask, Don't Tell, she asked "I was just wondering - were you born a bigot, or did you grow into it?" Bachmann, who refused to engage with Griffin, replied "that's a good question. I'm going to have to think about that." A repeated inquiry by Griffin was met with a similarly disinterested response.
If Kathy Griffin can't come up with any material beyond half-baked cheap shots at the daughters of former elected officials, or referencing a failed attempt at debating a former federal tax litigator, she might do well to consider getting a real job.
A transcript of a portion of Griffin's routine, which aired on Bravo Wednesday at 9:05 am EDT
KATHY GRIFFIN: GURRL DOWN
9:05 pm EDT
KATHY GRIFFIN: Okay, so, Bristol Palin has this brand new chin, and I swear to god, she looks like Jay Leno. Your very own Jay Leno from Andover. Right, Andover- all right. But it's like she took a picture of Jay Leno, went to the dentist and said, "can I have this?" It's really- I-I, I'm just saying-it's, like, out there. But the comedy comes in, in her statement. So, may I read you her statement, directly? Okay. I got my little notes - okay. So, uh, Bristol Palin said, "I had corrective jaw surgery." Let's just-let's just take a minute. Not a chin implant, corrective jaw surgery. "Yes, it improved the way I look, but the surgery was necessary for medical reasons." No, that-that's true. Like, when I had my first face lift, it was 'cause I was fighting scurvy. And when I had my eye job, it was 'cause I had rickets. And for - "it was for medical reasons, so my jaw and teeth could properly realign."Who did she blow last night?
9:26 pm EDT
GRIFFIN: So, coincidentally, I'm getting out of the escalator, and it was one of those two-story escalators, at the same time as Michele Bachmann, same time. Thank you - exactly. I looked - I was like-- and I'm an atheist, and I was like, "thank you, Jesus - thank you. If you exist, you really delivered." And - and I wasn't going to say anything to her. But, once again, I couldn't help but stare at her because I, of course, was remembering her post State of the Union Tea Party rebuttal, where she couldn't find the right camera.. And remember-- she was the one. And she's very pretty, you know, and she was the one who did the whole rebuttal like this, "well slavery didn't really happen" like, she's just, you know - oh, you know that she truly questions whether or not slavery happened. Anybody? Yeah, remember that [expletive] when you're in the booth. Um, sorry. Keep it light, Kathy - keep it light. Anyway, so I'm just. All right. So, uh, I went, you know, I was just pretty much right next to her, and I looked at her, and, she looked at me, and I - she must've thought I was Kathie Lee Gifford or something because she clearly - she clearly didn't know who I was, but she must've recognized me or something. And out of the blue, she turns to me, and she says, "oh, my goodness - what are you doing here." Like that and I didn't- I wasn't gonna start anything, but I just looked at her, and then I noticed her assistant turned on a flip cam. Now, here's the deal. On "My Life on the D-List," we didn't punk anybody. You know, if somebody was gonna be on the show, they signed a release - they wore a microphone pack. They knew when they were being filmed. I don't - I don't roll like that. You know, I don't punk people. And so, I thought it was kind of interesting that they would put on the flip cam and not ask permission or say what it was for. So I said "who's taping this?" And she said, "oh, that's somebody from my website" so, I said, "well, congresswoman, um,"I'm actually having a rally Friday, in Freedom Plaza, to help repeal the military's Don't Ask, Don't Tell' policy. May I count on your support?" To which she predictably said, "Oh no, I don't think so." So, I look at the chick with the flip cam, who doesn't have the smarts to turn it off, and I said, "well, I was just wondering - were you born a bigot, or did you grow into it?" I - and here's - okay. So, are you ready for the answer? "Well, that's a good question. I'm going to have to think about that."Can you imagine, if someone accused you of being a bigot? I mean, it's right up there with freakin' the n-word and everything else. At least you going to BS and backtrack or something like that. No. She just says "that's a good question." So, then, I could not believe my good fortune, 'cause it was on tape - I was so excited. Plus, I looked good - I was in hair and makeup. And -and so, then, I don't know what came over me. Like, I lost my mind. And I think, because I was on "Law and Order" once, I thought I was an attorney. I really - I really lost it because I actually said, "let me rephrase." I know. Like I'm the freakin' "Good Wife" or some [expletive]. You know what I mean? And I said, "well, do you feel that you were born a bigot, or do you feel it's more environmental" because, you know, that's always their argument about gay people is that it's environmental and then, I thought, "okay, give her another chance and then, she goes, "I'm gonna have to get back to you on that one."