The 10 Most Horrifying Attacks on Christmas by the Liberal Media This Year

December 23rd, 2015 4:59 PM

Each year, Christmastime is moving farther away from a celebration of peace, joy and love toward media-promoted consumerism, violence and debauchery. From movies, to music to television, many of the messages this year were far from heartwarming.

Here are the 10 most horrifying attacks on Christmas by the liberal media in 2015:

1. Hollywood’s ‘Naughty’ The Night Before

Looking for an uplifting Christmas movie to enjoy with the family? If so, then The Night Before is not for you. According to Variety, the film is a “raucous drug-fueled ode” and “profanely festive odyssey” that is “brimming with R-rating naughtiness.”

2. The Krampus Film

If you’ve been naughty, then Krampus might not be your top movie choice either. The recent film centers on the mythical, horned prince of the underworld who carries bad children off to hell. According to Vox, “it’s possible that the heightened interest in Krampus, at least in the US, is part of the larger trend of an increase in an interest in all things demonic, a trend that has been steadily growing over the past several decades.”

If you want to celebrate Krampusnacht, Vox recommends that you “search for DIY devil costumes on Pinterest and show up to your Christmas party in one.” Eeek.

3. “All I Want for Christmas” – The Politicized Version

If you’re looking for something more positive—and progressive—The Huffington Post would encourage you to hum along with singer Macy Gray’s version of “All I Want for Christmas”—where she asks for, among other things, free healthcare, immigration reform and gun control.

Gray’s lyrics include gems like “Take Mr. Gore more seriously” and “No matter what they say Barack, you did real good” to make the song a perfect liberal mantra.

“Sing along and hope that Santa (and our political leaders) hear you,” wrote Huff Post contributor Carly Ledbetter.

4. Katy Perry’s Take on Christmas: It’s About Her

While we’re on the tune of wanting and getting, we might as well note that we long ago forgot it’s better to give than to receive at Christmastime. And, while we’re at it, forget Jesus’ birth. According to Katy Perry’s latest and utterly self-absorbed tune, “every day is a holiday when you’re the reason to celebrate.”

5. Orange Is the New Black Reinvents Christmas with Sex, Profanity

And what better way to celebrate Christmas than with sex, profanity and violence? Or so suggests the cast of Netflix series Orange is the New Black in a recent spoof of “‘Twas the Night Before Christmas.” In a video which Vanity Fair deemed “charming,” the inmates of Litchfield Prison reference having sex in the bunks, robbing and roughing up St. Nick and finding porn from Santa.

6. Media Say Porn Makes the Perfect Present!

Speaking of which, still not sure what to buy your aunt and cousin? Cosmo recommends a Pornhub gift card for access to the largest collection of porn with no ads, quicker playback and higher-quality streaming—in other words, “a top of the line gift for all your blood relatives, obviously.” After that purchase, you can “consider your holiday shopping complete.”

7. Media Favorites Declare Abortion Is a Gift Too!

But if you still have more gifts to buy, why not consider gifting abortions? When asked for views on abortion by a Twitter follower, media-acclaimed Irish drag queen Panti Bliss playfully tweeted back: “I love them. I'm getting everyone an abortion for Christmas! I got ‘3 for 2’ vouchers in the Black Friday sales.”

8. Glamour Suggests Donating for this Holiday – to Planned Parenthood

Sadly, Bliss and other abortion proponents could actually go through with this by donating to Planned Parenthood, as Glamour magazine suggested in its “31 Ways to Give Back This Holiday Season.” Even $25 offers a woman the “birth control she wants but can't afford,” wrote an editorial assistant (somewhat ironically named) Concepcion De Leon.

9. Christmas Means It’s Time to Bash Pro-Lifers

While you’re gifting abortions in true Christmas spirit, why not stop by a pro-life politician’s house and hold up profane signs while masquerading as a caroler? That’s what happened in the most recent video created by Lizz Winstead’s radical Lady Parts Justice League. 

10. It’s Also Time to Humiliate Conservative Politicians

And, of course, to top all the Christmas craziness off, The Washington Post tweeted a cartoon suggesting that Ted Cruz was using his daughters as political props. The tweet, which depicted Cruz as Santa and his young daughters as toy monkeys, was quickly and thankfully denounced across the politically spectrum.

At least there’s some good left in the world.