Miss Piggy Goes the ‘Full Miley’ and Twerks

The Muppets have given us many great moments over the years: Fozzie and Kermit taking the fork in the road, literally. Not to be outdone by Fozzie proving that a Studebaker can indeed be a bear’s natural habitat. However, Tuesday night’s edition of ABC’s The Muppets, titled “Swine Song,” left us with a moment that was most unnatural, and in a sexually suggestive habitat that I am absolutely not okay with finding my favorite childhood pig.

After hearing from the network that her show is suffering because the audience no longer finds her relevant, Miss Piggy goes off the deep end and searches out a new look that is….well…just watch:

Kermit: We just need to make a few tweaks to our show that makes us happy. Something classy. Nothing too drastic.

Piggy: Yoo-hoo! Consider me updated! Doesn't this make me look young?

Scooter: No.

Piggy: But -- it's the full Miley.

Fozzie: Why is she –

Rizzo: Oh, no.

Kermit: Uh, uh, Piggy?

Piggy: Twerk it, twerk it, twerk it, twerk it.

Kermit: Piggy. Piggy!

Piggy: Hmm? What, what?

Kermit: Uh, yeah, I-I think you're spiraling here.

Piggy: What?

Kermit: Uh, let me go, uh, get you a robe, and, uh –

Piggy: Spiraling? What are you talking about?

Kermit: Everybody else, just think!

I’m torn between being more disturbed by the chest-jiggling or the twerking. I’m leaning twerk. But mostly I would just like to “unsee” everything that just happened there. I would like for ABC to stop taking characters clearly meant for childhood entertainment and turning them into strippers. And I would like Miss Piggy returned immediately to her rightful place as the non-twerking, non-suggestive hog that Steve Martin served wine to by candlelight.

Yes, that would be just great.

Dylan Gwinn
Dylan Gwinn
Dylan Gwinn is an author and sports talk radio host.