5 Great Conservative Zingers Featured on CBS's Sci-Fi Political Show ‘BrainDead’

June 21st, 2016 4:32 PM

Last week’s premiere of CBS’s new dramedy BrainDead certainly leaned left, but this week they were more evenhanded in their treatment of the right. Instead of the typical lefty caricature of conservatives, you get the sense they actually might have an understanding of real, sincerely-held conservative principles, which makes the Republicans’ dialogue in the show so much more realistic than anything we regularly see on TV. On the other hand, several of these lines are delivered by people who have been lobotomized by alien ants, so it's not exactly a promotion of conservative ideals.

Regardless of motivation, they managed to get in some great conservative zingers in the episode titled “Playing Politics: Living Life in the Shadow of the Budget Showdown--A Critique.” Here’s a rundown of the top 5 examples of lines every Republican will appreciate.

1.

Laurel: Isn’t that the... "right-wing" group?
Abby: If by “right-wing" you mean we're right, then... Yep. 

When Democrat staffer Laurel finds out her friend Abby is involved with “Help America Rise Again,” (Gee, wonder what that’s alluding to?) she distastefully calls them “right-wing.” But Abby’s response reflects how we all wear the mantle of “Right” with pride for its double meaning. 

2.

Wheatus: The Democrat Party—
Luke: It’s Democratic.
Wheatus: Well, not lately. 

Conservatives have been needling the Democrats by calling them the “Democrat Party” instead of their preferred “Democratic Party” for years and Republican Senator Wheatus quickly gets to the heart of why during a debate on the Rachel Maddow-like show “DoubleSpeak” over the government shutdown. (Nice Orwellian reference there, too.)

3.

Gareth: Why do I think if she was raving about Hillary she wouldn't be quite so fanatic? …I think you and a lot of Democrats are tolerant of everything but Republicans. 

When Laurel complains about Abby suddenly becoming a political fanatic and raving about Trump, Senator Wheatus’s staffer Gareth calls her out on Democrats’ hypocritical double standard on fanaticism and tolerance. 

4.

Wheatus: Commerce, Education and Energy.
Luke: What about them?
Wheatus: Well, they're wasteful, bloated bureaucracies that hamper the free market. We'll agree to a budget deal if you agree to cut them.

When Senate Republicans and Democrats sit down to negotiate an end to the government shutdown, Senator Wheatus has the perfect solution - get rid of the Departments of Commerce, Education, and Energy - a conservative’s dream! Bonus points for articulating exactly why they need to be gone. 

5.

Annie: “We here highly resolve that: These dead shall not have died in vain-- that this nation, under God…"
Henry: Not under God.
Annie: Dad, please shut up.

12-year-old Annie is a cancer patient on a mission to visit 20 monuments in 20 days. The last one on her list is the Lincoln Memorial, but because of the shutdown, it’s closed and she can’t realize her dream. Of course, she has become a political prop, with Democrats using her to hit Republicans on the shutdown. But then it turns out her dad is a radical leftist professor who teaches that Lincoln was gay and sued his daughter’s school district over the Pledge of Allegiance. 

When Laurel is able to talk a Park Service security guard into letting them sneak in, Annie reads the Gettysburg Address on the wall. Her lefty father has to butt in condemning the usage of “under God,” leading Annie to shut him down - Go, Annie! This leads to a heartwarming moment where she explains things were just as bad in Lincoln’s time and people just need to not give up hope.

BrainDead is starting to look a little more even-handed in its portrayals of Democrats and Republicans. Perhaps all is not lost in Hollywood and our culture, maybe we "just need to not give up hope."