'Grey's Anatomy' Shows its Age with Hackneyed Secret Teen Lesbian Plotline

September 24th, 2015 11:55 PM

The 12th season of Grey's Anatomy has begun and, my, how it is showing its age! Apparently the episode was titled “Sledgehammer” to indicate that they are going to beat us over the head with the same liberal themes all season long.

The episode begins with two 15 year old girls being brought to the ER after getting hit by a train. As soon as I saw each girl had a heart drawn on her arm and one girl denied knowing the other, I let out an internal groan – here comes the predictable secret teen lesbian storyline that's meant to teach us about tolerance and love! Come on, this is 2015, haven’t we seen this cliché about 50 times – just on Grey’s Anatomy alone?!

Shockingly my plot prediction was right on the money – in this version, the girls wanted to commit suicide because it was the only way they could be together. How Juliet and Juliet! Dr. Callie Torres (Sara Ramirez) used confessions of her own fluid sexuality to get one girl, "Jess," to open up about what happened:

You're only 15. You want to die? It's more complicated than that. You were standing in front of a train. We weren't suicidal. We just -- okay, Jess, I'm gonna tell you something personal about myself, okay? Okay. I like men...romantically, sometimes. And I like women, too. It's a big, big part of my life. Can I ask you something personal about yourself? Do you like...girls? Do you... Do you like Aliyah? I love her. What were you two doing out there? It's not that we wanted to die. 
This was just... The only way that we could stay together ...You know, forever. No. No, Jess. There are so many other ways. I...killing yourself solves nothing. It -- my parents... They're sending me away... To a camp. They come and get you in the middle of the night, and they take you to this place. They change you. They're gonna make me change my mind about Aliyah. No, they won't. There's no way. Those places don't work. They never work. Your parents are doing this? Please. Please, you can't call them. Please don't tell them that I... They're the whole reason why I'm even here. Please. You can't call them. 

Ah, the gay conversion camp. A favorite liberal boogeyman second to only the crisis pregnancy center. Both they claim don’t work and are dangerous, while ignoring the thousands who have been helped by them.

Of course this means that Dr. Torres has to confront the parents about their “child abuse:”

Bethany. Please, let him -- shut up, Steven! Shut your stupid mouth! If you had kept your mouth shut, Jess would be safe at camp right now. But you had to give her the heads-up, didn't you? It's okay. You had to tell her all about it. Torres, don't. What are you doing, Torres? I'm sorry, but I'm not sure you understand what those places are like. I know that you're trying to help your daughter, but that kind of camp is horrible. It will not give her the kind of support that she needs. I realize that you care about Jess, but-- Care about her? We love her. She's our child. Our child. Please, this doesn't concern you. Jess' fear of that place is why she stepped in front of a train to begin with. No, we are not doing this. She doesn't feel safe. We are not doing this now! You want to give parenting advice? Talk to clueless over there. You have no right to talk to me about anything other than my child's medical care. She's right to feel afraid. Those places are harmful. They will damage her mentally, emotionally. They are tantamount to child abuse. Torres. You are out of line. You are here for one thing and one thing only, and that is to attend to my child's injuries, to help my daughter. That's it. So you can either shut up and do the job that you are here to do, or I will get rid of you. Sweetie, please.

Of course, the mother (who – surprise, surprise – is an Ann Coulter lookalike) is exactly right. Their parental rights are being trampled on. It is THEIR minor child, doctors shouldn't be giving anything but medical advice. Dr. Torres has completely overstepped her bounds, bringing in her own personal “expertise” of being bisexual, instead of her expertise as a doctor.

But it doesn’t stop there. Saying, “That woman was bullying her own child,” Dr. Torres takes it upon herself to call child protective services, leading to a confrontation that gets physical: 

Also, Jess might not be going to that camp. I, uh...I may have made some calls. Bethany: Which one of you did it? You called child protective services on me? Is this a joke? Is this some game to you people? If I want to send my child to a beautiful camp run by a lovely pastor ...Then I have every legal right to do so, and it is none of your business. Do you understand? Stay away from my little girl. And stop filling her head with your faithless, inappropriate nonsense. You repulse me. You're disgusting! Ohh! Oh, crap. My heart was pounding, and there was a noise in my head and then her face was just coming at me and I was just like, "Aah!" And then -- ouch! Ow! Ow! My fist had a mind of its own. 'Cause I didn't even know I was gonna punch her until she was punched. Oh, my god! I lost control. I am a monster. I would have paid money. Cash money. Like 1,000 bucks. Worth every penny. It was beautiful. Okay, what happened? Yeah, we want details. And would someone page me, please, next time Pierce hulks out? Think it's funny? It won't be when she loses her job. I'm gonna lose my job? You're not gonna lose your job. She attacked you. Kind of. Right? Okay, you weren't there. You don't know. Oh, the lady deserved it. She got bigot-slapped. You know she deserved it. It doesn't matter. There's a right and a wrong way for us to conduct ourselves. MM, you know what? Grey has a point. Next time, leave the thumb outside the fist when you clench. That way, you avoid bone damage. See? Okay, bitch lady's fine medically, no real injury, but she is seriously pissed and after your head. See? Oh, God. Is it true? Callie punched a homophobe? Pierce punched a homophobe. Ooh, unexpected. High five. No. Yes! I have to go apologize to that horrible woman, don't I? 

These “progressive,” “open-minded” doctors are all so gleeful that “bitch lady” got “bigot-slapped.” Because apparently violence is never the answer, except when it’s used against a “homophobe.” #lovewins

All of this ends predictably, with the father freaking out at the mother, “I don't care if she's gay. I care if she's loved. I care if she's happy. And that is what you should care about! What is wrong with you that you don't?!” Presumably we’re all supposed to stand and cheer at the father finally finding a backbone and “doing the right thing” by siding with Team Torres, secure in the knowledge that “bitch lady” has received her comeuppance and another gay child has been saved!

Great! Let’s just ignore the fact that this is a troubled child who, as evidenced by the fact that her solution to getting out of going to gay conversion camp was to die with her lesbian lover, doesn’t have the mental or emotional capacity to know or understand what she wants and feels or their consequences yet. But it’s ok, because liberals got their self-satisfactory happy ending!

What a lazy, hackneyed plotline. Way to mail it in, Shonda Rhimes, I could have written this in my sleep. But, mark my words, this episode will still be hailed for its innovative bravery and courage tomorrow.