Mascot Madness: 10 Offensive (to Libs) Team Names/Logos

October 28th, 2016 9:54 AM

1. Washington Redskins

Washington Redskins

How far the Washington Post has fallen. The paper that once brought down a president hasn't been able to tackle a mascot. After years of agitation, oceans of ink (and tasty, tasty tears of liberal guilt), a May 2016 poll found that 90% of Native Americans still refuse to be offended by the name of a football team.

2. Coachella Valley HS Arabs

Coachella Valley HS Arabs

Arab immigrants used to farm dates in California's Choachella Valley. Hence, the CVHS Arabs. Now they're the Mighty Arabs and the logo looks more like Omar Sharif than Anthony Quinn.

3. Holy Cross Crusaders

Holy Cross Crusaders

Holy offensive Western-centric historical allusions, Bat Man! This is the kind of insensitivity Barack "High Horse" Obama clucks about. (Question: Has a CVHS Arab ever gone on to become a Holy Cross Crusader?)

4. San Diego Padres

San Diego Padres

So much wrong! Missionaries who converted peaceful indigenous people from their earth-loving nature gods into what Hillary operatives call "the systematic thought and severely backwards gender relations" of the Catholic Church. And did anyone ask before appropriating the Spanish word "padres?" 

 

5. Houston Oilers

Houston Oilers

Thank Gaia this team moved to Tennessee and became the Titans. The extraction of unsustainable carbon-emitting fossil fuels is not the sort of planet-ravaging activity civilized people name football teams after.

6. Green Bay Packers

Green Bay Packers

You named your team after commercial meat packing? Have you seen the inhuman conditions on industrial farms? Meat is indeed murder! And if you have to name sports teams after professions, what's wrong with the Green Bay Community Organizers, or the Milwaukee Puppeteers? 

7. Ole Miss

Ole Miss

Ole Miss Colonel Reb has been replaced by the Rebel Black Bear. Why black bears, long hunted and driven from human-populated areas should be trivialized for a college sports team mascot is an open question. Black bears matter.

8. San Diego State Aztecs

San Diego State Aztecs

The mass human sacrifice, the amassing of treasure, the class system, the empire conquered from other indigenous peoples and ruled by military force. All behaviors they didn't learn from white Europeans? The Aztecs is a horrible name.

9. Notre Dame Fighting Irish

Notre Dame Fighting Irish

The beligerant leprechaun is the worst kind of stereotype, bound up with assumptions about temper, alcoholism and benighted popery that socioeconomically dominant Protestant America held about Irish laborers and ... aw, screw it. It's an awesome mascot, and nobody is actually offended.