P.J. Gladnick

P.J. Gladnick's picture
Contributing Writer


I am probably the only writer on NewsBusters to have received an award from the Soviet Union. It was for my work as an American correspondent for Krokodil Magazine which you can see chronicled in I Was A Commie Writer.

I live in South Florida which is full of eccentrics which is why I feel right at home here. My main accomplishments in life were winning a bottle of aftershave when I was eight and having the biggest PING List (over 1000 Pingees) on the Free Republic forum for my DUmmie FUnnies blog. This is fortunate since I suffer severely from Ping List Envy. 

Prior to the advent of the Web, I wrote a syndicated humor column that appeared in dozens of newspapers throughout North America. Only complete humility forbids me from telling you that my columns appeared in the Houston Chronicle, St. Petersburg Times, L.A Herald-Examiner, Winnipeg Free Press, Cleveland Plain Dealer, Vancouver Sun, and lots of other periodicals that I am much to humble to list. 

 Oh, I also produced an award-winning satirical comix website called PJ's Comix. This sort of balances out the fact that I am the WORST basketball player in the world.

When I lived in Los Angeles, I wrote comedy material for comedians. Sorry,  due to business ethics I can't reveal any of their names (Argus Hamilton).

Latest from P.J. Gladnick

With the appointment of Anthony Scaramucci on July 21 as White House Communications Director, this is a good time to take a walk down memory lane with him to exactly two weeks before the November election when he was subjected to a searing attack by always wrong political consultant Bob Shrum on Bloomberg's With All Due Respect. Starting at the 3:50 mark of the following video, Scaramucci commits a Thought Crime by daring to suggest that "Trump Shaming" might be skewing the polls against him. Shrum responds by shaming Scaramucci as "idiotic" for daring to make such a suggestion.

 


It wasn't all acting. The incredibly loud-mouthed, obnoxious character of Erlich Bachman on HBO's comedy hit, Silicon Valley, seems to be matched in these characteristics by the actor who portrayed him, T.J. Miller. Miller last made the news in a big way when he was arrested last December for hitting his Uber driver for the high crime of not sharing his Trump Derangement Syndrome.


Could someone remind me how old President Donald Trump was at the time of the real life evacuation of Dunkirk in 1940? Oh, he still wouldn't be born for another six years? Really? However, this did not prevent Rolling Stone movie reviewer Peter Travers from invoking his name in a negative way from out of nowhere in the middle of a review of what looks to be an outstanding film, "Dunkirk."

 


Remember the mighty Coffee Party which at one time had grown to a total of 200,000 members? Oh, you wonder where that laughably inflated figure comes from? Well, it was made up by Steve Tuttle of Newsweek (now with fewer readers than the real members of the Coffee Party). The purpose of that very obvious fake news was to hype a leftwing version of the Tea Party back in 2010 despite the fact that it numbered in the dozens at most.


Trump Russia! Trump Russia! Trump Russia! 24/7 coverage by the mainstream media. Investigations! Impeachment must be right around the corner! Must have it! Gotta have it! If not, we could lose our liberal minds!!!


When not completely obsessed by Trump-Russia collusion allegations, CNN is focused like a laser on the truly monumental matters. An example was Friday's in depth analysis by their New Day panel on the details of a handshake between President Donald Trump and French President Emmanuel Macron following the Bastille Day parade in Paris.  Such importance was given to this discussion that hosts John Berman and Alisyn Camerota even brought in outside experts to break down the handshake for us.


All that work. All that effort. And it was all flushed down the toilet due to being scooped by Donald Trump, Jr. on July 11 when he released his private emails with a British publicist concerning a Russian lawyer. A full year of investigating...GONE! Such was the complaint of journalist Jared Yates Sexton as he hilariously whined on Twitter on July 11 how Donald Trump, Jr. scooped him earlier in the day with his email release. His angst was chronicled that same day by the Conservative Review, Journo melts down after Trump Jr. scoops him.


In vino veritas.

And with failed actor, Shia LaBeouf, we learned that a lot of vino led to a lot of veritas when he was arrested for drunken and disorderly conduct in Savannah, Georgia on July 8. The leftwing LaBeouf, while heavily under the influence of his alcoholic truth serum, revealed himself as the worst stereotype of the one percent rich folks when he drunkenly boasted of his "millionaire lawyers." It is unknown at this writing what his sentence will be but his worst punishment is that the highly embarrassing police bodycam footage obtained by TMZ will follow him around to haunt him for the rest of his life unto the end of time.


It was a marathon July 10 interview chock full of fireworks on CNN's New Day that ran into overtime to almost 36 minutes. What set it off was host Chris Cuomo's obsession with the latest Trump-Russia nothingburger. Cuomo's ire could have been set off by guest Kellyanne Conway's mockery of Cuomo's sacred issue that CNN has hung its reputation upon. However, one has to wonder if Cuomo's desperately energetic attitude came in part as a response to the revelation by his assistant producer, Jimmy Carr, on a recent Project Veritas video that much of his New Day crew hold him in very low regard.


Remember the important qualifier for officials to be subject to impeachment? High crimes and misdemeanors? According to Vanity Fair contributor, T.A. Frank, perhaps we should add "offensive" to the reasons for impeachment. Frank is honest in admitting that so far the Trump-Russia collusion theory has turned into a big nothingburger.


Perhaps it was the way he arched an eyebrow. Or maybe it was the momentary twitch of his nose. Could it have been that barely seen curl of the lip?

Somehow, somehow, we must see that Chief Justice John Roberts was critical of President Donald Trump in his commencement address for ninth grade graduates at Cardigan Mountain School even though his name was not mentioned nor was there anything that could be remotely interpreted as the slightest reference to him. Such desperation to discern criticism where none existed of Trump by the Chief Justice came from Los Angeles Times editorial writer Michael McGough in his July 3 opinion piece, A Chief Justice John Roberts Jr. speech that should make Trump's ears burn.


Everyone who watched the recent Project Veritas video of Van Jones clearly heard him say that "the Russia thing is just a big nothing burger." However, Van Jones appeared on the June 29 Anderson Cooper 360 show to declare that we misinterpreted what he was saying. Jones spun it that what he meant was that the hope for impeachment of President Donald Trump based on the proofless charge of collusion with Russia in the 2016 election was the real "nothing burger."

Here is Van Jones as he spin, spin, spins:


Be careful how you get your hair cut. If it is a little too high and tight it could cause the obsessed members of the mainstream media to call you a "fascist" or "white nationalist." Such was the case with Eric Trump who recently got his sidewalls cut a little too tight to pass political scrutiny by Esquire magazine. When you look at his haircut you will wonder what all the fuss is about. It is not that high nor even that tight. In fact, it is a haircut style favored by millions of men yet Esquire (and other liberal outlets) detect nascent fascism as you can see in a laughable June 26 hit piece by Chistine Flammia titled, Eric Trump's New Haircut Is a Little Too 'White Nationalist' for Comfort:


Hoorah for biased journalism! The election of Donald Trump as president has sent us liberals so over the edge that we can no longer pretend to even tolerate him. Not only will our coverage of him and Republicans be biased but we shall openly embrace the fact that we are biased.

Huh? Did I somehow manage to overhear an inebriated journalist who had a bit too much to drink to the extent that the truth poured out of him? Nope. As we shall see, it is journalism professor Mitchell Stephens writing (supposedly sober) in the June 26 Politico with startling admissions about anti-Trump bias in the mainstream media that even the slightly coherent amongst us were aware of but which many liberal journalists still very unconvincingly deny. Stephens is a flat out liberal obviously antagonistic towards Trump but his saving grace is his shocking honesty about the current state of journalism which is revealed in his article title, Goodbye Nonpartisan Journalism. And Good Riddance.


Have you ever had an old grand-uncle that you haven't seen in ages and that you have almost completely forgotten about suddenly show up from out of nowhere? His return quickly reminds you why you originally found him so annoying since he is still obsessed about the same grudges upon which he still continues expounding in an aimless manner.

In this case it is former liberal talk show host Phil Donahue who appeared with Brian Stelter on his CNN Reliable Sources show on June 25. Yes, it was the same old by the numbers predictable liberal Phil and, of course, he was obsessed over President Donald Trump. Donahue went into some bizarre places in order to express his hostility towards Trump, starting with his obsession with people taking cell phone pictures at Trump rallies as we shall see in the following clip:


The basic subject matter of an article in the June edition of the Smithsonian Magazine was actually quite interesting. It was about the ongoing restoration of many videotapes of the old Joe Pyne television show. Unfortunately, the author, Kevin Cook, chose to use this restoration as a way to slam not only the generally conservative Joe Pyne but current conservatives in the media as well. 

However, despite Cook's petty slams, his article does provide some interesting information about Joe Pyne who many consider the father of entertaining talk radio and television interviewing. The good news is that sometime in the near future the public will have access to many Joe Pyne interviews long thought to be lost.


HOORAY! We lost again!!! A reliable source of humor after Democrats lose elections is Vox writer Matthew Yglesias. A month ago Matthews was celebrating the loss of the democrat in the Montana special congressional election by declaring his loss to really mean a win for democrats. Yglesias continued mining this political comedy vein by declaring that the loss of Jon Ossoff in the George 6th Congressional District special election, after the party blew over $30 million on his campaign, really means that the "Republicans are in trouble."

 


The Democrats just blew $30 million on the most expensive congressional race in history and all they have to show for it is a lousy participation trophy.

Perhaps the Democrats would have been better off using that money to erect a temple to the Weather Gods. A frustrated Eric Levitz at New York magazine makes the case that the "Weather Gods" seemed to have been conspiring against Jon Ossoff in the June 20 special election in the Sixth Congressional District in Georgia. Fifty minutes before the polls closed for that election, Levitz noted how perfectly the weather aligned against Ossoff by observing that "Karen Handel Gets Last-Minute Endorsement From Weather Gods."


Whenever the mainstream media awards a participation trophy to the loser of an election, it is sure bet they are awarding it to a Democrat. Such was the case with the June 17 Politico which awarded a participation trophy to Jason Kander who lost the 2016 U.S. Senate race from Missouri. No matter. As far as Politico is concerned he was really a winner as you can see from their title, How Jason Kander Won by Losing.

What makes this article particularly amusing is how far overboard Politico writer Edward-Isaac Dovere goes in hyping the future political career of Kander. Dovere made it seem like it was just a minor detail that Kander actually LOST the election.


Steve Scalise suffered a physical assault on June 14 as a result of being shot by a liberal Bernie Sanders supporter. However, few know that three years ago Scalise politely endured a verbal assault by enraged Hollywood liberals in the entertainment business. It was an example of the increasing rejection of civil discourse by the left leading ultimately to the recent baseball field violence we saw a few days ago.

A June 16 Hollywood Reporter article by Paul Bond reveals the incident at the Los Angeles home of pollster Frank Luntz who held a soiree in the hopes of bringing together conservative congressmen and members of the entertainment industry. It did not go well as you can see in the article's title, Steve Scalise Once Tried to Woo Hollywood — the Results Weren't Pretty.